My husband and I had gone to his home town this morning. It is only 40-45 minutes away depending upon the traffic. We went to a friends house and use to live across the street from them. Plenty of good times with big parties and use both houses. It seems like yesterday but seeing his kids grown up in which they are around my son and daughter's age. They have been redoing the house for the last couple of years and I haven't seen it since they were just starting. The house is big and old he said the footage is 2,600. He inherited from his father in which a lady that died left the house to his father and they were just friends. Make me wonder just how much of a friend he was to her to get a house for nothing.
I haven't gone down there since last Christmas. I am so glad that I have moved away from there. We lived right off of Route 1 and in which runs all the way into NY and right off of Route 95 that runs from Canada to Florida. The town has expanded in the 10 years that we have left and it is so darn crowded with so many stores. When I am there I feel like sardines in a can, and there is so much traffic no wonder I became such a road rage person when I lived there. My gosh, my language was just awful on the road and everyone is so busy flipping the finger at each other. I knew then I needed to get the heck out of that town. Also, when the Principal from the school calls you up and says your daughter was in a fist fight with some other girl you know it is time to bug out.
When we moved to this town and because my daughter was basically street smart and here is like the country she knew how to take care of her self. The kids were afraid of her. I know I can laugh about it now since she is all grown up now but any kid that moved from that town up to here were street smart and the kids were just plainly afraid of them. The one thing that really up set my daughter when we visiting the school she said there were no black people here. Well, she only saw like 4-5. See, we lived in a town with a variety of different culture as it is good for the kids to be exposed to that. I liked the town because it was quiet and you got more for your money with a bigger house and some land. We did try to find something down there but I just couldn't find a house I liked. So, we moved here.
So, on our way home we stopped at Walmart for a few things then home and then I had to go back out for the other groceries.
11.13.2005
George Bush
George Bush has a heart attack and dies. He goes to hell where the devil is waiting for him. "I don't know what to do here," says the devil. "You're on my list but I have no room for you, but you definitely have to stay here, so I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I've got 3 people here who weren't quite as bad as you. I'll let one of them go, but you have to take their place. I'll even let you decide who leaves."
George thought that sounded pretty good, so he agreed. The devil opened the first room. In it was Richard Nixon and a large pool of water. He kept diving in and surfacing empty handed over and over and over. Such was his fate in hell; "No!" George said; "I don't think so. I'm not a good swimmer and don't think I could do that all day."
The devil led him to the next room. In it was Tony Blair with a sledgehammer and a room full of rocks. All he did was swing that hammer, time after time after time. "No! I've got this problem with my shoulder. I wou ld be in constant agony if all I could do was break rocks all day," commented George.
The devil opened a third door. In it, George saw Bill Clinton lying naked on the floor with his arms staked over his head and his legs staked in spread eagle pose. Bent over him was Monica Lewinsky, doing what she does best. George Bush looked at this in disbelief for a while and finally said, "Yeah, I can handle this."
The devil smiled and said; "Monica, you're free to go."
George thought that sounded pretty good, so he agreed. The devil opened the first room. In it was Richard Nixon and a large pool of water. He kept diving in and surfacing empty handed over and over and over. Such was his fate in hell; "No!" George said; "I don't think so. I'm not a good swimmer and don't think I could do that all day."
The devil led him to the next room. In it was Tony Blair with a sledgehammer and a room full of rocks. All he did was swing that hammer, time after time after time. "No! I've got this problem with my shoulder. I wou ld be in constant agony if all I could do was break rocks all day," commented George.
The devil opened a third door. In it, George saw Bill Clinton lying naked on the floor with his arms staked over his head and his legs staked in spread eagle pose. Bent over him was Monica Lewinsky, doing what she does best. George Bush looked at this in disbelief for a while and finally said, "Yeah, I can handle this."
The devil smiled and said; "Monica, you're free to go."
Yard Clean Up...
I have said that raking leaves is a waste of time since I live in a wooded area. It is almost rediculous to keep raking when the leaves will be in the yard the next day. That is my theory anyway. Well, what did I do today. No not rake, but used the leaf blower. You know, a little easier but still had to blow them leaves off the porch and since my husband had mowed the lawn in which will probably be the last time I thought I get out there and help the poor guy. I have to admit the yard looks better. I am so sad that most of the leaves are off the trees. I can see my neighbors. I guess this means we need to pull the curtains so you can't see in.
Oh, I did one amazing thing on Friday. We have had this old car sitting in the driveway that my husband had used for spare parts for his truck for about 5 years now. Looked really stupid sitting there with the darn hood up. I couldn't tell you how many times I told him to at least put that hood down to at least make it look presentable. Well, he gave me the okay to call the junk yard. They came with in 2 hours and took it away. The guy said to me that he traveled up and down this road plenty of times and said that car has been there like what? 5 years? Just about I told him. Ah, it looks so much better now. Now, to take the basketball hoop down. My son took the jungle gym down over the summer as that was left there by the previous owners and since my son used it a bit when we moved here.
Oh, I did one amazing thing on Friday. We have had this old car sitting in the driveway that my husband had used for spare parts for his truck for about 5 years now. Looked really stupid sitting there with the darn hood up. I couldn't tell you how many times I told him to at least put that hood down to at least make it look presentable. Well, he gave me the okay to call the junk yard. They came with in 2 hours and took it away. The guy said to me that he traveled up and down this road plenty of times and said that car has been there like what? 5 years? Just about I told him. Ah, it looks so much better now. Now, to take the basketball hoop down. My son took the jungle gym down over the summer as that was left there by the previous owners and since my son used it a bit when we moved here.
11.12.2005
In Memory of D.P.Osterhout Jr. 5/5/1926 - 11/12/1993
Twelve years ago today my father past away. I got the phone call just as I was walking in the door where I worked. The managers were told by my mother-in-law since my Mom didn't have my work number. They had instructed me to call my mother-in-law and she just kept telling me on the phone to go to her house in which was basically across the street from where I worked. I told her I had just got to work and have to give them a reason why and she just would not tell me. I begged her to tell me and she did. I dropped the phone and collapsed to the floor.
Since my father had passed away in November and was to be buried in Vermont we couldn't have the funeral at the time since my parents lived in Georgia. We had to wait until the ground was thawed out and buried him in July when our summer camps were opened. So, basically for 8 months we couldn't put him to rest.
We had a Quaker funeral. It is a normal service but for those that had something to say about my father could make a speech. I had written a poem for my father based on one of the days that I had spent with him just before he passed away. I almost could not read this in front of everyone and my cousin that was sitting right behind me whispered to me and said it was okay if I couldn't but I may regret it if I didn't. The room was packed and I stood up and read the below poem to everyone and basically collapsed after reading this.
My father ment the world to me. He was the one that understood me, he loved me unconditionally unlike my mother. He was a smart, caring, loving, fun man. He was the type of person if you could not afford to go to college he fund your college as he did to a few people. Education he would for ever be drilling into our heads. This man paid for his twin sister's college tuition as his parent were poor. He paid for his and went to Yale. He sent all 4 of us to college. He sent my sister-in-law to college as her parents couldn't afford it etc. He paid it in cash. It was just the type of person he was.
My parents could not have kids and they had adopted 4 kids. I am honored I was choosen by they, raised by them, and loved by him. If I can just have one more of his bear hugs he would give me.
I miss you Dad....
Pervading Memories
Sitting, rocking in our chair.
On that cool crisp summer morning.
Looking out towards the lake.
Maybe admiring the beauty
Or, lost in our thoughts.
Our endearment of being together
Father and Daughter
With no words to say
Occasionally looking at one another.
Exchanging smiles.
Leaving an everlasting impression.
This remembrance I hold.
“I Love You Daddy”
I didn't need say ...
He is gone ... His pervading spirit.
A fullness in my heart he has left.
Since my father had passed away in November and was to be buried in Vermont we couldn't have the funeral at the time since my parents lived in Georgia. We had to wait until the ground was thawed out and buried him in July when our summer camps were opened. So, basically for 8 months we couldn't put him to rest.
We had a Quaker funeral. It is a normal service but for those that had something to say about my father could make a speech. I had written a poem for my father based on one of the days that I had spent with him just before he passed away. I almost could not read this in front of everyone and my cousin that was sitting right behind me whispered to me and said it was okay if I couldn't but I may regret it if I didn't. The room was packed and I stood up and read the below poem to everyone and basically collapsed after reading this.
My father ment the world to me. He was the one that understood me, he loved me unconditionally unlike my mother. He was a smart, caring, loving, fun man. He was the type of person if you could not afford to go to college he fund your college as he did to a few people. Education he would for ever be drilling into our heads. This man paid for his twin sister's college tuition as his parent were poor. He paid for his and went to Yale. He sent all 4 of us to college. He sent my sister-in-law to college as her parents couldn't afford it etc. He paid it in cash. It was just the type of person he was.
My parents could not have kids and they had adopted 4 kids. I am honored I was choosen by they, raised by them, and loved by him. If I can just have one more of his bear hugs he would give me.
I miss you Dad....
Pervading Memories
Sitting, rocking in our chair.
On that cool crisp summer morning.
Looking out towards the lake.
Maybe admiring the beauty
Or, lost in our thoughts.
Our endearment of being together
Father and Daughter
With no words to say
Occasionally looking at one another.
Exchanging smiles.
Leaving an everlasting impression.
This remembrance I hold.
“I Love You Daddy”
I didn't need say ...
He is gone ... His pervading spirit.
A fullness in my heart he has left.
11.11.2005
So, You Have Gas....
I am sure many of you have started to blog about something only to realize you really have nothing to say. I get that way sometimes so I would just start reading other blogs and then someone's blog triggers a thought or a memory and this usually will get you going.
So, here I am reading Dream Gurl blog about her husband calling and telling that she farted as she rolled over in bed. Okay, so talking about farting is not on the top of the list of things to write about and yet people will still laugh about it or they would be ashamed to write about their farting stories. Maybe I can inspire you to tell yours who knows.
Anyhoo, when I first got married some 25 years ago and I am sure a lot of you husband have done this to your wife. Don't sit there and say you haven't or I am going to ask your wife. How many men have pulled the sheets over their wife's head and farted? I can see you nodding your heads saying yup many times. Well, my husband did that to me as well. Now, most men think it is okay if men fart and not woman. Hello, if I got some gas coming out of my ass and I need to fart then I will. I know you think it isn't lady like. What the hell do you want us woman to do? Try to squeeze our ass so tight and glide across the room really fast to the nearest bathroom and hope no one is in there so we can fart! Hum, lets see, a little noise, coughing, drag a can across the room, push the grocery cart in hopes it loud so you can smother the sound of the fart is what I would do. I am sure you woman have done things to disguise the farting sound. And, yes, it is terrible to do it in public I will agree with that. In your own home is another thing as I am not going to rush to the bathroom to fart.
So, where am I going with all this? I had enough of my husband smothering me under the covers and farting and I needed to get him back one day. The day came when I saw my husband sleeping on the couch and I bend down so my ass was in his face and tapped his shoulder and he woke up and I ripped him one right in his face. He flew off that couch so fast and stood there yelling WTF at me. I was laughing, said something like I got you back for all the times you smothered me with your farts. He never covered my head again.
Hey, pay back is a BITCH!
So, here I am reading Dream Gurl blog about her husband calling and telling that she farted as she rolled over in bed. Okay, so talking about farting is not on the top of the list of things to write about and yet people will still laugh about it or they would be ashamed to write about their farting stories. Maybe I can inspire you to tell yours who knows.
Anyhoo, when I first got married some 25 years ago and I am sure a lot of you husband have done this to your wife. Don't sit there and say you haven't or I am going to ask your wife. How many men have pulled the sheets over their wife's head and farted? I can see you nodding your heads saying yup many times. Well, my husband did that to me as well. Now, most men think it is okay if men fart and not woman. Hello, if I got some gas coming out of my ass and I need to fart then I will. I know you think it isn't lady like. What the hell do you want us woman to do? Try to squeeze our ass so tight and glide across the room really fast to the nearest bathroom and hope no one is in there so we can fart! Hum, lets see, a little noise, coughing, drag a can across the room, push the grocery cart in hopes it loud so you can smother the sound of the fart is what I would do. I am sure you woman have done things to disguise the farting sound. And, yes, it is terrible to do it in public I will agree with that. In your own home is another thing as I am not going to rush to the bathroom to fart.
So, where am I going with all this? I had enough of my husband smothering me under the covers and farting and I needed to get him back one day. The day came when I saw my husband sleeping on the couch and I bend down so my ass was in his face and tapped his shoulder and he woke up and I ripped him one right in his face. He flew off that couch so fast and stood there yelling WTF at me. I was laughing, said something like I got you back for all the times you smothered me with your farts. He never covered my head again.
Hey, pay back is a BITCH!
Black Friday
While we are waiting for our Home Equity Loan my husband and I have been talking about the things that need to be done around the house, new furniture, paint the entire house and other miscellaneous things and a few things he like to have. Most of the money will get put away in which I like to invest in. I need to do some homework to find out the best place to invest the money. I don't want to tie it up for long should we need some for an emergency.
Anyway, I was just saying to my husband that in the 13 years of being in retail this will be the first year that I will have Black Friday off. Last year, I had worked for just the season at Toys R Us. This is the most insane store to be in. That weekend I was so exhausted and the customers were crazy. They trashed the place that when the store closed for the day we had to clean it all up for the next day trashing. You barely even get a chance to pee. I must have been nuts to even apply to that store. Told my self never again. Working at the craft store was much better on Black Friday weekend.
So, this year, I think I will haunt some stores. I know it is nuts to even shop that weekend.
Anyway, I was just saying to my husband that in the 13 years of being in retail this will be the first year that I will have Black Friday off. Last year, I had worked for just the season at Toys R Us. This is the most insane store to be in. That weekend I was so exhausted and the customers were crazy. They trashed the place that when the store closed for the day we had to clean it all up for the next day trashing. You barely even get a chance to pee. I must have been nuts to even apply to that store. Told my self never again. Working at the craft store was much better on Black Friday weekend.
So, this year, I think I will haunt some stores. I know it is nuts to even shop that weekend.
11.10.2005
The Adventures Of Skiing
This is rather long...sorry.
Now that you heard about my cross-country skiing day. My downhill skiing was even better. As I have said that I really do not like speed going down the hill because I just don't know how to stop properly. I was telling this to my younger brother during this same winter as my parents were driving us to Burke Ski area in Vermont near Stowe. My younger brother was calling me a chicken. I was indeed but I didn't want him to know that so he dared me to go skiing. I caved in.
So, we are getting fitted for our skies and Dad strongly suggest some lessons for me. Of course, after all just the other day I stabbed my self with the pole in the boob. I needed to learn how to stop myself. So skiing lesson I was having. Now, I was one of the oldest having lessons. I was the most clumsy one of them all. The most uncoordinated one. The instructor had to pay attention to me the most. All the other students were young kids with no fear. After having like an hour and half of some brief lessons it was now time to test ourselves and go on the "Bunny Slope" Just a little hill and a very open field that I couldn't possibly kill myself or anyone for that matter.
So here we all are on the Bunny Slope practicing for a while. By George, I am getting the hang of this. I can do this I tell my self. Now, the instructor wants to bring us up to another slope. I feel a little confidence that I can do it. We have to take a chair lift up. Huh? I am terrified of heights. Oh, no, I can't go on that and look down. Well, my brother decided to join me and guide me. Tells me to make sure that I keep my skies up when we are about to get to the top, lift the bar, and take off. Simple, any moron could do it. I must have been the stupidest moron on the planet that day. Forgot to lift the skies up and they get jammed into the snow and I fall flat on my face. I am sure I gave a few people some laughs. I do however remember people rushing over to me and helping me up.
Now, the trick to get back down to the bottom was going to be one challenge for me. I am skiing along and I see that I am doing fairly good and I am picking up speed, then I am coming around a corner and wham I slammed into a tree. I had blacked out and finally came too with all these people looking at me. I didn't know what happened and then it came to me that I had just kissed a tree. I just got up really fast and really embarrassed and skied on. I finally get to the bottom of the hill and there were my parents waiting and there was Mom with this horrible look on her face again. They rush over to me and I had no idea why they had the horrible look on their face. Well, when I had kissed that tree I had this huge lump on my forehead and blood was dripping down my face and I really didn't feel that blood. My brother had been way ahead of me and waited at the bottom of hill but never saw me come down and he went back up and found my hat and was freaking out because he thought that I had gotten hurt and raced back to the lodge and found us. I got all cleaned up and decided I wasn't going on that hill again and I would go on a smaller mountain.
The weird thing happened. I ran into a class mate of mine from High School there so we paired up and went skiing together and we forgot to get off the lift and went to another slope. We are standing at the top of the mountain. I knew right there and then that I was going to die because we see this sign saying "Expert Trail" Of all rotten luck. Someone helps her down the slope but leaves me at the top. I finally said Fuck It and started taking off my skies and would walk down the slope or die. I was on that slope for an hour and then my friend got a rescue team to go up and find me since she never saw me come down. How embarrassing again. Of course these two good looking guys have to come up and help me down the expert slope making me zig zag down. Of course I made it down alive since I am writing this aren't I.
Of course, I once again scared the pants off my parents. You know how many times they could have been rushed to the hospital because of me that day? Oh wait, I am not finished yet. We decided to have lunch and then my parents want to go cross-country skiing at a near by area. So, my brother, sister, and I had to stay at the ski area for a couple more hours. I decided that I should stick with the Bunny Slope. After all, it was an open field with no trees or really steep slope. The other two went their own way and I stayed with my friend.
We had been skiing on this slope for a while. I had no problem and then my clumsiness kicked in again. I was skiing down and took a nasty fall. I couldn't get up. My friend saw that I was in trouble and rushed over. I told her I think I popped my knee cap out but there was no way in hell was I going to a hospital since no one would know I was there. I told her my sister and brother were skiing and Mom and Dad went off some where else. I did the worst, I slammed my knee cap back to where it was supposed to be. That pain, was so unbearable and was the dumbest thing I ever did. I managed to get up with the help of my friend and got me back to the Lodge and sat in the chair and never got back up until my family came. I wasn't limping and just told them that I feel no big deal. Nope, never went to the Doctor over this until several years later and that Dr. knew what I did with out me having to tell him. Yup, I screwed up my knee for life. It doesn't sit in the socket like it is suppose too and I still to this day haven't had the surgery to fix it. Aren't I a dumb ass!
Just a note...I haven't gone skiing since 1975...and you wonder why?
Now that you heard about my cross-country skiing day. My downhill skiing was even better. As I have said that I really do not like speed going down the hill because I just don't know how to stop properly. I was telling this to my younger brother during this same winter as my parents were driving us to Burke Ski area in Vermont near Stowe. My younger brother was calling me a chicken. I was indeed but I didn't want him to know that so he dared me to go skiing. I caved in.
So, we are getting fitted for our skies and Dad strongly suggest some lessons for me. Of course, after all just the other day I stabbed my self with the pole in the boob. I needed to learn how to stop myself. So skiing lesson I was having. Now, I was one of the oldest having lessons. I was the most clumsy one of them all. The most uncoordinated one. The instructor had to pay attention to me the most. All the other students were young kids with no fear. After having like an hour and half of some brief lessons it was now time to test ourselves and go on the "Bunny Slope" Just a little hill and a very open field that I couldn't possibly kill myself or anyone for that matter.
So here we all are on the Bunny Slope practicing for a while. By George, I am getting the hang of this. I can do this I tell my self. Now, the instructor wants to bring us up to another slope. I feel a little confidence that I can do it. We have to take a chair lift up. Huh? I am terrified of heights. Oh, no, I can't go on that and look down. Well, my brother decided to join me and guide me. Tells me to make sure that I keep my skies up when we are about to get to the top, lift the bar, and take off. Simple, any moron could do it. I must have been the stupidest moron on the planet that day. Forgot to lift the skies up and they get jammed into the snow and I fall flat on my face. I am sure I gave a few people some laughs. I do however remember people rushing over to me and helping me up.
Now, the trick to get back down to the bottom was going to be one challenge for me. I am skiing along and I see that I am doing fairly good and I am picking up speed, then I am coming around a corner and wham I slammed into a tree. I had blacked out and finally came too with all these people looking at me. I didn't know what happened and then it came to me that I had just kissed a tree. I just got up really fast and really embarrassed and skied on. I finally get to the bottom of the hill and there were my parents waiting and there was Mom with this horrible look on her face again. They rush over to me and I had no idea why they had the horrible look on their face. Well, when I had kissed that tree I had this huge lump on my forehead and blood was dripping down my face and I really didn't feel that blood. My brother had been way ahead of me and waited at the bottom of hill but never saw me come down and he went back up and found my hat and was freaking out because he thought that I had gotten hurt and raced back to the lodge and found us. I got all cleaned up and decided I wasn't going on that hill again and I would go on a smaller mountain.
The weird thing happened. I ran into a class mate of mine from High School there so we paired up and went skiing together and we forgot to get off the lift and went to another slope. We are standing at the top of the mountain. I knew right there and then that I was going to die because we see this sign saying "Expert Trail" Of all rotten luck. Someone helps her down the slope but leaves me at the top. I finally said Fuck It and started taking off my skies and would walk down the slope or die. I was on that slope for an hour and then my friend got a rescue team to go up and find me since she never saw me come down. How embarrassing again. Of course these two good looking guys have to come up and help me down the expert slope making me zig zag down. Of course I made it down alive since I am writing this aren't I.
Of course, I once again scared the pants off my parents. You know how many times they could have been rushed to the hospital because of me that day? Oh wait, I am not finished yet. We decided to have lunch and then my parents want to go cross-country skiing at a near by area. So, my brother, sister, and I had to stay at the ski area for a couple more hours. I decided that I should stick with the Bunny Slope. After all, it was an open field with no trees or really steep slope. The other two went their own way and I stayed with my friend.
We had been skiing on this slope for a while. I had no problem and then my clumsiness kicked in again. I was skiing down and took a nasty fall. I couldn't get up. My friend saw that I was in trouble and rushed over. I told her I think I popped my knee cap out but there was no way in hell was I going to a hospital since no one would know I was there. I told her my sister and brother were skiing and Mom and Dad went off some where else. I did the worst, I slammed my knee cap back to where it was supposed to be. That pain, was so unbearable and was the dumbest thing I ever did. I managed to get up with the help of my friend and got me back to the Lodge and sat in the chair and never got back up until my family came. I wasn't limping and just told them that I feel no big deal. Nope, never went to the Doctor over this until several years later and that Dr. knew what I did with out me having to tell him. Yup, I screwed up my knee for life. It doesn't sit in the socket like it is suppose too and I still to this day haven't had the surgery to fix it. Aren't I a dumb ass!
Just a note...I haven't gone skiing since 1975...and you wonder why?
Bruises
I had skipped over to Na Uh! Ya Huh blog aka momyblogr and there she has this big bruise. I am not sure where that bruise is on her body and didn't ask. Looking at that picture reminded me of a big bruise like that I had on my body one time.
After Christmas for many years, my family would go to our winter house in Vermont and we go skiing. I could downhill ski but wasn't' good at it and often would go cross-country skiing with my parents. It is a lot of work cross-country. The thing I liked about it was the fact I could cross-country anywhere and not just on a ski slope.
So, my parents and I would cross- country around the town where our winter/summer homes were and we could cross-country across the lake. Back in 1975 my parents are roughly my age now (48) and we were going down this slope. They had gone first, and me, being the chicken because the slope was steep and here I am only (17) at the time was a big chicken to go down. Then, I thought, they made it down with no problem so can I. I proceeded to go down the hill and my speed is increasing fast and I am not very good at stopping. At this point I didn't like the rate of speed that I was going and wanted to slow down. I have no darn idea how this happened but some how or another I had crossed my skies and tumbled over and my poles are flying every which way and then I felt a sharp pain after I had tumbled down onto the snow. I wasn't sure what had happened and I hear my father shouting from the bottom of the hill "Are you alright?" luckily, my head was facing my parents and I can see my mother with this horrible look on her face. I knew I must have looked like hell. They had quickly taken off their skies and raced up the hill. I was completely tangled up and my father pulls the ski pole out that had jammed into my left side boob. Yes, you read this right and stop laughing. That dam hurt, and I had this huge bruise on my boob for weeks.
To let you know, that was the end of my cross-country days of skiing. I will tell you my downhill skiing accident another time. Yes, you will laugh at that one too.
After Christmas for many years, my family would go to our winter house in Vermont and we go skiing. I could downhill ski but wasn't' good at it and often would go cross-country skiing with my parents. It is a lot of work cross-country. The thing I liked about it was the fact I could cross-country anywhere and not just on a ski slope.
So, my parents and I would cross- country around the town where our winter/summer homes were and we could cross-country across the lake. Back in 1975 my parents are roughly my age now (48) and we were going down this slope. They had gone first, and me, being the chicken because the slope was steep and here I am only (17) at the time was a big chicken to go down. Then, I thought, they made it down with no problem so can I. I proceeded to go down the hill and my speed is increasing fast and I am not very good at stopping. At this point I didn't like the rate of speed that I was going and wanted to slow down. I have no darn idea how this happened but some how or another I had crossed my skies and tumbled over and my poles are flying every which way and then I felt a sharp pain after I had tumbled down onto the snow. I wasn't sure what had happened and I hear my father shouting from the bottom of the hill "Are you alright?" luckily, my head was facing my parents and I can see my mother with this horrible look on her face. I knew I must have looked like hell. They had quickly taken off their skies and raced up the hill. I was completely tangled up and my father pulls the ski pole out that had jammed into my left side boob. Yes, you read this right and stop laughing. That dam hurt, and I had this huge bruise on my boob for weeks.
To let you know, that was the end of my cross-country days of skiing. I will tell you my downhill skiing accident another time. Yes, you will laugh at that one too.
My Dog
When ever I leave the computer desk I have to make sure that I push the chair in otherwise one of the dogs will sit in the chair and look around the desk to pick something off the desk to chew on.I can't tell you how many times my Boon Koon. That's a picture of her has eaten my glasses. I have gotten to the point I buy those cheap glasses at the dollar store because she ate my prescribtion glasses. $250 glasses in that dogs mouth!
So, my daughter calls me ever day from work and I get up from the computer and forgot to push my chair in. This little shit gets up on the computer desk and she sees my sons Birth Certification of Birth and a business card on the desk and takes them and would have proceeded to chew them to bits. She must of heard me finish up on the phone and I then go back into the living room where the computer is and see her sitting there INNOCENTLY like WTF did I do? I had noticed that she is sitting on the Birth Certificate and business card trying to hide it.
She will be a year December 23rd. These dogs no matter how old they are they still like to chew things up. My Pitt Bulls like to shread things into thousands of little pieces. Yes, I have 3 Pitt Bulls. You can see the other dogs in that picture blog I have on the side bar.
Silhouett Portrait
I belong to alot of craft groups and find tons of ideas through these groups. People are always thinking of inexpensive gifts to make for Mom, Dad, Kids, Grandparent, and friends.
Long ago, when I was about 7 or 8 years old. My mother did a silhouette portrait of my brother and I. To this day, she still has those portraits sitting on her dresser. For those that have kids, this make a great gift for the Grandparents. You could even have someone do a silhouett of you to give as a gift. People appreciate gifts made over gifts bought because you put your heart and soul into that gift.
Silhouette Portrait
Materials:
• Desk lamp
• Table
• Tape
• Large sheet of black paper
What to do:
1. Place a desk lamp on a table about 6 feet from a blank wall.
2. Have your child stand against the wall so his profile casts a
shadow on the wall behind him.
3. Tape the paper to the wall, in the shadow, and trace your child's
silhouette.
4. Cut out silhouett, glue it to a white paper and place in frame. You could reverse and make a white silhouett on a black background.
Bubba Kitty Kat
My sister had emailed me telling me her kitty kat that she has had for 22 years died in her arms last night by the fireplace.
My sister found this cat when she was in college in PA and kept that cat hidden in her dorm all four years. From there she went back home to my parents in Virginia, then to California, then to Boston, back to California, then to Manhattan, NY, then to Vermont, and then to Colorado. Every where my sister went that cat was with her.
That cat has flown on a plane more than any animal has. My sister had this carrier that looked like a gym bag and she would Bubba (cat) in this bag. It had mesh on both ends so he could breath. She would lay diapers on the bottom should he have an accident. Before she put him in his carrier she tell him to keep quiet or they be walking to their destination. Bubba never even meowed on any of the trips. As soon as she get off the plane she find some grass and let Bubba do his thing.
He has traveled across the country by car from Colorado to Vermont every summer. I would call him the most traveled cat. She had an idea he would pass on soon as he became deaf, was skinny no matter how much she tried to put weight on him. He was just old, and tired.
Bubba is now in Kitty Heaven..
11.09.2005
Get your own sex name
I don't know why, but some of these silly quizzes are rather funny because we know most of them are made by the young kids. Yet, we find our selves doing them just for fun. I hope none of these offends anyone and if they do I am sorry.
Okay, now, I am sure there are some of you that may name their body parts. Well, I know men do but I haven't heard any woman naming their boobs or kitty. I say kitty because it is better especially saying it in public. If I knew you well enough and was standing in front of you having this conversation I would use the other word.
Anyhoo, so these are some of my names of varies things.
Just in case you men want to know what your penis name is. So, in order for me to generate this I used the name Jack. Sorry Jack. LOL! This is the results.
I am just using some guys name. I don't even know a Blake.
Okay, now, I am sure there are some of you that may name their body parts. Well, I know men do but I haven't heard any woman naming their boobs or kitty. I say kitty because it is better especially saying it in public. If I knew you well enough and was standing in front of you having this conversation I would use the other word.
Anyhoo, so these are some of my names of varies things.
| Your Boobies' Names Are: Silk and Satin |
| Your Porn Star Name is: Cumisha Jones |
| Your Girl Parts Are Named: The Flaming Lips |
| Your Stripper Name is: Delicious |
Just in case you men want to know what your penis name is. So, in order for me to generate this I used the name Jack. Sorry Jack. LOL! This is the results.
| Your Penis Name is: Big Lebowski |
I am just using some guys name. I don't even know a Blake.
| To pick up Blake: Hi will you help me find my lost puppy? I think he went into this cheap hotel room across the street. |
Appraiser
So, the apprasier came and went. I was telling him about my phone call to the Town Clerk. He had gone to the Assessor's Office and got what he needed. I had asked him when the house was built and he said in 1972 and then I asked the sqare footage. He tells me that the living area being up stairs is 1,262 + 5oo downstairs and finished. So, the total would be 1,762. I had a feeling that it was up there and thought when I was told 1,262 was too low. But this is how they tell you. Just your living space but when they figure the value of the house they add in the basement as they call it. He then asked what I thought my house value is. I said I am hoping at least $350,000 - $440,000. So, if I can get at least say $390,00 for it and minus out the Home Equity of $90,000 I still have $300,000. for this house. My total profit being of $117,000. I can live with that. All in all the value has doubled since I bought it for $183,000 with no mortgage.
We then started talking as I said I was from Norwalk as well as Wilton. So he asked my husband's name and said that it rings a bell. So, I named off some relatives and friends. Ah, yes he now knows who we are and our relatives. It such a small world isn't it.
He couldn't give me a value since he needed to add up some number and will give it to my loan officier. So, I shall have to wait.
We then started talking as I said I was from Norwalk as well as Wilton. So he asked my husband's name and said that it rings a bell. So, I named off some relatives and friends. Ah, yes he now knows who we are and our relatives. It such a small world isn't it.
He couldn't give me a value since he needed to add up some number and will give it to my loan officier. So, I shall have to wait.
Typing Test
How fast can you type? I took 4 years of typing in High School as well as 2 years in College. I use to be really fast. I guess as I get older my fingers don't work that fast any more. So, I have dropped from 70 wpm down to 55 wpm. Well, as of today. So, test your skill how well you type. I had always hated those tests. Talk about pressure!
Ole
Okay, I got this from Soonerfan as he is always sending me funny stuff. This is a pisser.
Ole was working at the fish plant up Nort in Dulut when he accidently cut off all ten of his fingers.
Ole went to the emergency room at the Clinic and when he got there the Norsky doctor looked at Ole and said, "Let's have da fingers and I'll see what I can do."
Ole said, "I haven't got da fingers."
"What do you mean, you haven't got da fingers?" the doctor asked. "Lord - it's 2005! We's got microsurgery and all kinds of incredible techniques. I coulda put dem back on and made you like new! "Why didn't you bring da fingers?" To which Ole says........
(Are you ready for this????)
How da f--k was I supposed to pick dem up?
Ole was working at the fish plant up Nort in Dulut when he accidently cut off all ten of his fingers.
Ole went to the emergency room at the Clinic and when he got there the Norsky doctor looked at Ole and said, "Let's have da fingers and I'll see what I can do."
Ole said, "I haven't got da fingers."
"What do you mean, you haven't got da fingers?" the doctor asked. "Lord - it's 2005! We's got microsurgery and all kinds of incredible techniques. I coulda put dem back on and made you like new! "Why didn't you bring da fingers?" To which Ole says........
(Are you ready for this????)
How da f--k was I supposed to pick dem up?
11.08.2005
Messages
That's right honey, I don't like Pabst Beer. But every now and then the Doctor makes me have one.
The Assessor's Can Just Kiss My.....
I have an appraiser coming tomorrow and he had asked me some questions about my property such as total sq. footage, age of house, and acreage. I couldn't remember any of this. So, I decided to call our Assessor to get this information. They wouldn't give me this information over the phone because someone had called them for this type of information and asked for the sq. footage, and they only gave the footage of the living area and not the basement area and she said they didn't ask for that. So, now they don't give out the information.
Now, to me the sq.footage is the entire house upstairs, downstairs, etc., but apparently the Assessor's have it broken down to sq. footage of living space and then the basement. Okay, I use to work in the Assessor's office and correct me if I am just plan dumb here. I would give the entire sq.footage of the house. Don't most people use the whole frickin house? Even if the basement isn't finished you still use it for storage, laundry room or what ever. You may not sleep there unless your in the dog house with your spouse. But you get my point here I need the entire footage of the house basement and all. It is still part of the house because when I sell it I am selling the whole frickin thing. They wouldn't even give me the acreage or when the house was built. Oh I have to come in to see this or mail a self-address-stamped envelope. I said to her "First, no car, appraiser coming tomorrow and lets not forget here that I pay this town a pretty penny of $5,000+ a year on taxes and you can't give me any of this information where all the other towns do. One last thing I said to her this is the most pathetic policy I have ever heard of" and hung up the phone.
I am not like this on the phone but when I hear something just so stupid it just pees me off. So in other words if some person living in Pluto, and needed all this like right now this is the line you will get. Talk about rotten customer service.
Now, to me the sq.footage is the entire house upstairs, downstairs, etc., but apparently the Assessor's have it broken down to sq. footage of living space and then the basement. Okay, I use to work in the Assessor's office and correct me if I am just plan dumb here. I would give the entire sq.footage of the house. Don't most people use the whole frickin house? Even if the basement isn't finished you still use it for storage, laundry room or what ever. You may not sleep there unless your in the dog house with your spouse. But you get my point here I need the entire footage of the house basement and all. It is still part of the house because when I sell it I am selling the whole frickin thing. They wouldn't even give me the acreage or when the house was built. Oh I have to come in to see this or mail a self-address-stamped envelope. I said to her "First, no car, appraiser coming tomorrow and lets not forget here that I pay this town a pretty penny of $5,000+ a year on taxes and you can't give me any of this information where all the other towns do. One last thing I said to her this is the most pathetic policy I have ever heard of" and hung up the phone.
I am not like this on the phone but when I hear something just so stupid it just pees me off. So in other words if some person living in Pluto, and needed all this like right now this is the line you will get. Talk about rotten customer service.
Jokes
RECENT STUDY FOUND OUT WHICH DAYS MEN PREFER TO HAVE SEX. IT WAS FOUND THAT MEN PREFERRED TO ENGAGE IN SEXUAL ACTIVITY ON THE DAYS THAT STARTED WITH THE LETTER "T."
EXAMPLES OF THOSE DAYS ARE AS FOLLOWS:
TUESDAY
THURSDAY
TODAY
TOMORROW
THANKSGIVING
THATURDAY
THUNDAY
***********************************
Another RECENT SURVEY WAS CONDUCTED ALSO TO DISCOVER WHY MEN GET OUT OF BED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT.. HERE ARE THE SURVEY RESULTS:
5% SAID IT WAS TO GET A GLASS OF WATER
12% SAID IT WAS TO GO TO THE BATHROOM
83% SAID IT WAS TO GO HOME
*********************************
THE PERFECT BREAKFAST...AS A MAN SEES IT......YOU'RE SITTING AT THE TABLE AND YOUR SON IS ON THE COVER OF WHEATIES......YOUR MISTRESS IS ON THE COVER OF PLAYBOY.........
AND YOUR WIFE IS ON THE BACK OF THE MILK CARTON.
**********************************
WHAT'S THE BEST FORM OF BIRTH CONTROL AFTER 50?
NUDITY
**********************************
WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A GIRLFRIEND AND A WIFE?
ABOUT 45 LBS.
**********************************
WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A BOYFRIEND AND A HUSBAND?
ABOUT 45 MINUTES
************************************
WHAT'S THE FASTEST WAY TO A MAN'S HEART?
THROUGH HIS CHEST WITH A REALLY SHARP KNIFE
*************************************
WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A SOUTHERN ZOO AND A NORTHERN ZOO?
A SOUTHERN ZOO HAS A DESCRIPTION OF THE ANIMAL ON THE FRONT OF THE CAGE, ALONG WITH A RECIPE.
*****************************************
WHAT'S THE CUBAN NATIONAL ANTHEM?
ROW, ROW, ROW YOUR BOAT..........
*****************************************
WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A NORTHERN FAIRYTALE AND A SOUTHERN FAIRYTALE?
A NORTHERN FAIRYTALE BEGINS "ONCE UPON A TIME....."
AND A SOUTHERN FAIRYTALE BEGINS...........
"Y'ALL AIN'T GONNA BELIEVE THIS SHIT
**************************************************
EXAMPLES OF THOSE DAYS ARE AS FOLLOWS:
TUESDAY
THURSDAY
TODAY
TOMORROW
THANKSGIVING
THATURDAY
THUNDAY
***********************************
Another RECENT SURVEY WAS CONDUCTED ALSO TO DISCOVER WHY MEN GET OUT OF BED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT.. HERE ARE THE SURVEY RESULTS:
5% SAID IT WAS TO GET A GLASS OF WATER
12% SAID IT WAS TO GO TO THE BATHROOM
83% SAID IT WAS TO GO HOME
*********************************
THE PERFECT BREAKFAST...AS A MAN SEES IT......YOU'RE SITTING AT THE TABLE AND YOUR SON IS ON THE COVER OF WHEATIES......YOUR MISTRESS IS ON THE COVER OF PLAYBOY.........
AND YOUR WIFE IS ON THE BACK OF THE MILK CARTON.
**********************************
WHAT'S THE BEST FORM OF BIRTH CONTROL AFTER 50?
NUDITY
**********************************
WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A GIRLFRIEND AND A WIFE?
ABOUT 45 LBS.
**********************************
WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A BOYFRIEND AND A HUSBAND?
ABOUT 45 MINUTES
************************************
WHAT'S THE FASTEST WAY TO A MAN'S HEART?
THROUGH HIS CHEST WITH A REALLY SHARP KNIFE
*************************************
WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A SOUTHERN ZOO AND A NORTHERN ZOO?
A SOUTHERN ZOO HAS A DESCRIPTION OF THE ANIMAL ON THE FRONT OF THE CAGE, ALONG WITH A RECIPE.
*****************************************
WHAT'S THE CUBAN NATIONAL ANTHEM?
ROW, ROW, ROW YOUR BOAT..........
*****************************************
WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A NORTHERN FAIRYTALE AND A SOUTHERN FAIRYTALE?
A NORTHERN FAIRYTALE BEGINS "ONCE UPON A TIME....."
AND A SOUTHERN FAIRYTALE BEGINS...........
"Y'ALL AIN'T GONNA BELIEVE THIS SHIT
**************************************************
Fly A Helicopter
Have you ever wanted to fly a Helicopter? Well, now is your chance. And, the best part is you can crash and not hurt any one. Come on, lets go flying.
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