So, You Have Gas....

I am sure many of you have started to blog about something only to realize you really have nothing to say. I get that way sometimes so I would just start reading other blogs and then someone's blog triggers a thought or a memory and this usually will get you going.

So, here I am reading Dream Gurl blog about her husband calling and telling that she farted as she rolled over in bed. Okay, so talking about farting is not on the top of the list of things to write about and yet people will still laugh about it or they would be ashamed to write about their farting stories. Maybe I can inspire you to tell yours who knows.

Anyhoo, when I first got married some 25 years ago and I am sure a lot of you husband have done this to your wife. Don't sit there and say you haven't or I am going to ask your wife. How many men have pulled the sheets over their wife's head and farted? I can see you nodding your heads saying yup many times. Well, my husband did that to me as well. Now, most men think it is okay if men fart and not woman. Hello, if I got some gas coming out of my ass and I need to fart then I will. I know you think it isn't lady like. What the hell do you want us woman to do? Try to squeeze our ass so tight and glide across the room really fast to the nearest bathroom and hope no one is in there so we can fart! Hum, lets see, a little noise, coughing, drag a can across the room, push the grocery cart in hopes it loud so you can smother the sound of the fart is what I would do. I am sure you woman have done things to disguise the farting sound. And, yes, it is terrible to do it in public I will agree with that. In your own home is another thing as I am not going to rush to the bathroom to fart.

So, where am I going with all this? I had enough of my husband smothering me under the covers and farting and I needed to get him back one day. The day came when I saw my husband sleeping on the couch and I bend down so my ass was in his face and tapped his shoulder and he woke up and I ripped him one right in his face. He flew off that couch so fast and stood there yelling WTF at me. I was laughing, said something like I got you back for all the times you smothered me with your farts. He never covered my head again.

Hey, pay back is a BITCH!