11.30.2005
Angel Card Project
In one of my craft groups I have a gentlmen that is involved with a church project called "The Angel Card Project" Every year lots of people come together to spread a little holiday cheer to those that need it the most. They send holiday card to the less fortunate, sick, elderly, lonely, and to those that generally need cheering up. To participate visit his site at: Angel Card Project: Do something nice this year and volunteer.
Mumbling Away
When my daughter got home from work last night she ran out to develop some photos of her trip to Puerto Rico. She must of had 10 rolls but only developed 2 at the moment. She said in the 5 days he took her to all these places. He was at peace being around his family again. Sometimes you have to do just that to make yourself feel hole again. It is just his mom, step Dad, and 2 step brothers here in CT. The rest of his family is in Puerto Rico.
My daughter had a blast and said it was so beautiful down there. I had asked if she had gone in the water and she said yes and she almost drowned. All of a sudden my face was sheet white. I guess the current pulled her under and she couldn't resurface and she started to panic. Her husband and his Uncle realized they couldn't see her and flew into the water and pulled her out. I bet she won't be swimming in there again for awhile.
Anyway, her husband wants to move down there and of course my daughter said she didn't care but he have to find a job since he could speak Spanish and she would have to learn since no one would hire her with out speaking the Language. Reminds me here and no offense to foreigners but I think should be applied here. If you can't speak English you have no business working. Go into some of these McDonald's, Burger King, and KFC and you are trying to tell them what you want and they only know by the #1 meal, #2 meal etc. What's up with that? His Grandmother has an apartment above the garage or somewhere and his Uncle that is a Carpenter said he fix it up for them if they wanted to live down there. Not that I want to see my daughter move that far, I want them to be out of my house and on their own.
Anyway, she had fun and that is what counts and she did say she talked to him a bit but didn't really get deep into their issues as they wanted to have fun. Now, get this. They come home and this jerk is sitting in the car talking away on the phone and she is bringing all the luggage in and she has to be at work in a few hours. Him no. WTF!
My daughter had a blast and said it was so beautiful down there. I had asked if she had gone in the water and she said yes and she almost drowned. All of a sudden my face was sheet white. I guess the current pulled her under and she couldn't resurface and she started to panic. Her husband and his Uncle realized they couldn't see her and flew into the water and pulled her out. I bet she won't be swimming in there again for awhile.
Anyway, her husband wants to move down there and of course my daughter said she didn't care but he have to find a job since he could speak Spanish and she would have to learn since no one would hire her with out speaking the Language. Reminds me here and no offense to foreigners but I think should be applied here. If you can't speak English you have no business working. Go into some of these McDonald's, Burger King, and KFC and you are trying to tell them what you want and they only know by the #1 meal, #2 meal etc. What's up with that? His Grandmother has an apartment above the garage or somewhere and his Uncle that is a Carpenter said he fix it up for them if they wanted to live down there. Not that I want to see my daughter move that far, I want them to be out of my house and on their own.
Anyway, she had fun and that is what counts and she did say she talked to him a bit but didn't really get deep into their issues as they wanted to have fun. Now, get this. They come home and this jerk is sitting in the car talking away on the phone and she is bringing all the luggage in and she has to be at work in a few hours. Him no. WTF!
11.29.2005
Chocolate Math
This will blow your mind! It is called "Chocolate Math"
Don't tell me your age; you probably would tell a falsehood anyway-but the Hershey Man will know!
DON'T CHEAT
1. First of all, pick the number of times a week that you would like to have chocolate (more than once but less than 10)
2. Multiply this number by 2 (just to be bold)
3. Add 5
4. Multiply it by 50 -- I'll wait while you get the calculator.
5. If you have already had your birthday this year add 1755.
If you haven't, add 1754.
6. Now subtract the four digit year that you were born.
You should have a three digit number.
The first digit of this was your original number.(i.e., how many times you want to have chocolate each week).
The next two numbers are:
YOUR AGE! (Oh YES, it is!!!!!)
By the way, my daughter did not bring a bird back...too much hassle.
Don't tell me your age; you probably would tell a falsehood anyway-but the Hershey Man will know!
DON'T CHEAT
1. First of all, pick the number of times a week that you would like to have chocolate (more than once but less than 10)
2. Multiply this number by 2 (just to be bold)
3. Add 5
4. Multiply it by 50 -- I'll wait while you get the calculator.
5. If you have already had your birthday this year add 1755.
If you haven't, add 1754.
6. Now subtract the four digit year that you were born.
You should have a three digit number.
The first digit of this was your original number.(i.e., how many times you want to have chocolate each week).
The next two numbers are:
YOUR AGE! (Oh YES, it is!!!!!)
By the way, my daughter did not bring a bird back...too much hassle.
11.28.2005
Daughter
My daughter and her husband went to Puerto Rico last Wednesday to visit his granmother that he hasn't seen in years and introduce my daughter to his family. She called last night to check in. She is having a good time and loves it down there. Weather is warm in the 8Os she says with no humidity. Her main reason of calling is asking me to call the airlines to find out what she needs to do to bring a love bird back home. His Grandmother raises them.
I called the airline and the requirements were just too much as they would have to take the bird to the Vet and then show that the bird is healthy to travel. I told her to forget it. But, being stubborn as she is I bet she will find a way to bring this bird back.
I hope she had the chance to have a heart to heart talk with her husband as he has been a pill lately and needs a good swift kick in the butt.
Now, I am waiting to see if we need to go to JFK and get her today as she will come in at midnight. I hope she can get the person who drove her to the airport to do it. Then, she works tomorrow. She will be so tired. Oh well.
I called the airline and the requirements were just too much as they would have to take the bird to the Vet and then show that the bird is healthy to travel. I told her to forget it. But, being stubborn as she is I bet she will find a way to bring this bird back.
I hope she had the chance to have a heart to heart talk with her husband as he has been a pill lately and needs a good swift kick in the butt.
Now, I am waiting to see if we need to go to JFK and get her today as she will come in at midnight. I hope she can get the person who drove her to the airport to do it. Then, she works tomorrow. She will be so tired. Oh well.
11.27.2005
What is your Elf Name?
Okay kiddies, it's Christmas time for some fun again...
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11.26.2005
Window Shopping
My husband and I decided to go to Bob's Furniture store and we picked out some living room and downstairs furniture that we want. We will make the final decision next week.
This is what we have picked out. I was trying to persuade him to go with this nice green or beige. Nope, the country red is what he wanted. Don't get me wrong I love the color too. I already have hunter green trim in the living room with beige walls in which need to be repainted anyway. So perhaps the red will go with it as it is a country red and not red, red. We also added a few more pieces of furniture; a wing chair with an ottoman. I didn't like the table and end table because they were glass. Now, if I didn't have any dogs that didn't rough house then I would have stuck with the glass tables so I want some wood table instead. Now, lets just hope they don't eat that. LOL!
We then checked out bedroom sets for my son but will let him decide what he wants.
On our way home we stopped at Best Buy since it was their Grand Opening. Just window shopping. He stops at the BIG TV's. Me, I am over by the computer software and digital cameras and then went over to the appliances and looked at stoves, washing machines, dryers, and refrigerators.
Sheesh, I think our eyeball just spent close to $8,000 -- $9,000 in what 3 hours. LOL!
Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells oh what fun it is to shop the night away Hey!
Get this, my son and husband want a pool table. While I think it is cool but it takes up too much room. My husband said that every time our son goes to the teen center this is what he does. Oh, and I thought it was to attract the cops up here. LOL
Max made it through the night without a nose bleed thank goodness. Although, I will say that when I let him out before bed he came back in with a slight bloody nose and I quickly put an ice pack on it and it stopped. See, he was fine all day going in and out but once the temperature dropped his nose started bleeding. This is why I was saying before it has to do with the coldness outside. You know how when you go outside and if it is cold the hairs in your nose get frozen? Well, I think this is like what is happening to him. The dog is 5 years old our age but in dog age is 35.
Last night I had to get my son in which he met up with me at the end of the road at the gas station. He was with 6 other guys. I had gone into the store and two of the cashiers know me. They were telling me that my son and his friends came in and one of them was really rude and called one of them a Bitch. I asked if it was my son. They were quick to say no and that every time he comes in he is the quiet one and would just laugh. Of course I said sounds like him as he is like me. I would be the one that would laugh when I was younger and yet I would be the one that got in trouble for laughing. Anyway, after our conversation I had gone outside where all the boys were and gave them a speech about RESPECTING. Told them when I was their age regardless if I agreed with my parents or my elders I respected them and I strongly suggested them to follow that rule. I told that rule was taught to me in church. I said honor thy parents and respect thy elders as I also said that I was almost 50 years old and I still respect my Mother even if I didn't agree with her. It is just a Cardinal rule that I follow. I told them that people will respect them if they are respecting others and they won't get kicked out of places. I wondered if they walked way saying that I was a bitch? Probably.
I am so confused with the fact Thursday being a holiday and today is Saturday and I thought it was Sunday. This old age crap is getting worse. LOL!
11.25.2005
My Max
I am really scared for my Max, the Yellow Lab/Golden. I had turned in for bed and decided to watch the new movie bewitched and all of a sudden Max had a really bad bloody nose again. So, my husband and I are cleaning up the massive blood all over the place. We put cold water up against his nose and the bleeding stopped.
Finally the movie was over and I went to sleep. Boon, the younger dog go up and was by the door. I sensed she knew there was something wrong and she was right. She could smell Max bleeding again. I was freaking out at 3:30 in the morning with all this blood. We finally got it to stop. It would even get worse when he shook his head making blood go every where.
I got up around 6:30 and once again cleaning the dog up again. I had to go back to sleep. I am just getting up and having coffee now and need to jump into the shower and then will call the Vet since I had put him in the cage in which forces him to lay down so he won't bleed.
I am really, really scared to take him to the Vet. Last time I went was last year around Christmas when King got hit by a car. And, then the other time was to put my Katie down. I am afraid of what they are going to tell me about Max. Hubby asked if I could do this alone. Ah, NO! First, what if he starts bleeding again and what if they tell me something really bad and I won't be able to handle it like when they told me Katie had cancer. Nope, not going through it alone.
I am hoping it is dry air. And, no, we do not have our heat on and we do not have forced air heat. We have been using the fireplace. It seems that every time I let Max out and he comes back in his nose starts to bleed.
I called the Vet...they are off today. I will continue to watch him and so far he is okay. If it keeps up I will put in a emergency call.
A friend of mine said he could have nose mites or that his allergies are dripping down his nasal cavity. Could be.
As some of you know I also blog over Blogster. Seems that Blogster finally made their change over. However, at first it was a little difficult to navigate around like here it was at first. They censor your comments to make sure you do not swear and if you do they put ### in it. Many people over there are really upset over the Freedom Of Speech. While I agree with them on that. Now, some were testing the water in comments and all of a sudden they got booted with out warning. I really don't think that was fair. They could have this 3 warning notice out. But this didn't seem like the case. So, a few of my friends that already blog here on blogspot have been booted over there.
I suppose if this keeps up the new owners will loose a lot of people and the whole darn blogsite will end up coming over here.
It is pitiful.
11.24.2005
Snow
I had crawled to bed around 11:00 and watched my usual show every night - MASH and set the timer on the TV so that it goes off automatically in case I fall a sleep.
I woke up around 6:00 to let the dogs out. To my surprise we had about 3 inches of snow. Now, I love snow and all but I think this came like a month too early.
I think I did read here online in the Farmer's Almanac that we would possibly get a white Thanksgiving. I am just curious how many people are swearing right now because they have to travel today. Probably not far but far enough in the snow and probably don't have their snow tires on yet. I think most people put them on around Thanksgiving. Well, people your a little too late! LOL!
Something weird happened last night as I was preparing for bed. I had looked at my Golden Retriever and he was rubbing his nose with his paw. At first, I thought his paw was bleeding but I looked closer and he had a bloody nose. Is it possible that a dog's nose becomes so dry like ours does and bleeds? This is what I am thinking. I was almost afraid to go to sleep fearing that when I woke up the dog would be dead. That wouldn't have been good loosing another animal on a holiday like last year I lost my cat on Christmas Day.
11.23.2005
The Pregnant Turkey...
I had recieved this story in one of my Yahoo groups and thought it was rather funny and wanted to share a cute Thanksgiving story with you.
One year at Thanksgiving my Mom went to my sister's house for the traditional feast. Knowing how gullible my sister is, my mom decided to play a trick. She told my sister that she needed something from the store.
When my sister left, my mom took the turkey out of the oven, removed the stuffing, stuffed a Cornish hen inside the turkey, and re-stuffed the turkey. She then placed the bird(s) back in the oven.
When it was time for dinner, my sister pulled the turkey out of the oven and proceeded to remove the stuffing when her serving spoon hit something, she reached in and pulled out the little bird. With a total shock on her face, my Mother exclaimed, "Patricia, you've cooked a pregnant bird!" At the reality of this horrifying news, my sister started to cry. It took the family two hours to convince her that turkeys lay eggs!
One year at Thanksgiving my Mom went to my sister's house for the traditional feast. Knowing how gullible my sister is, my mom decided to play a trick. She told my sister that she needed something from the store.
When my sister left, my mom took the turkey out of the oven, removed the stuffing, stuffed a Cornish hen inside the turkey, and re-stuffed the turkey. She then placed the bird(s) back in the oven.
When it was time for dinner, my sister pulled the turkey out of the oven and proceeded to remove the stuffing when her serving spoon hit something, she reached in and pulled out the little bird. With a total shock on her face, my Mother exclaimed, "Patricia, you've cooked a pregnant bird!" At the reality of this horrifying news, my sister started to cry. It took the family two hours to convince her that turkeys lay eggs!
Happy Thanksgiving
As the year is coming to an end it will be Thanksgiving tomorrow. I have several pies to make today and some appetizer as well. It will only be my husband, son and I this year. My daughter decided not to cancel her trip to Puerto Rico. Even though my husband and I really wish her not to go since her marriage is on the war path but hopefully with the time alone down there she can whack some sense into this husband of hers. Highly doubtful but worth a try. Happy Thanksgiving to you all and try not to over stuff yourself.In the mean time let us all think about what we are thankful for. I shall go first. Despite the fact that this has been a rough year for me I am thankful that I didn't end up in the funny farm. Wellbutrin came to my rescue.
I am thankful my husband likes the new company that he is working for after 8 years of complaining of the other company he made a switch.
I am thankful that I have two pain in the butt kids that I love dearly and they are healthy. I am still working on that attitude adjustment on my daughter. My son is so mellow and I am thankful that he has calmed down after years of dealing with an ADHD child. Funny how you loose one insanity only to gain another type of insanity.
I am thankful that I have a roof over my head, my belly full, and a few clothes on my back. I simple do not gripe about what I want or think what I need and appreciate what I have in front of me and that is my family and friends.
Most of all, I am thankful for our Troops. Being overseas is rough on our men and woman and they are doing a hell of a good job. They have more guts than I will ever have. I pray for their safety and wish they come home to their family soon.
Happy Thanksgiving!
For some little fun...
For some little fun...
| Your Thanksgiving Costume Is |
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11.22.2005
Cat Litter Cake Recipe
CAKE INGREDIENTS
1 box spice or German chocolate cake mix
1 box of white cake mix
1 package white sandwich cookies
1 large package vanilla instant pudding mix
A few drops green food coloring
12 small Tootsie Rolls or equivalent
SERVING "DISHES AND UTENSILS"
1 NEW cat-litter box
1 NEW cat-litter box liner
1 NEW pooper scooper
Prepare and bake cake mixes, according to directions, in any size pan. Prepare pudding and chill. Crumble cookies in small batches in blender or food processor. Add a few drops of green food coloring to 1 cup of cookie crumbs.
Mix with a fork or shake in a jar. Set aside. When cakes are at room temperature, crumble them into a large bowl. Toss with half of the remaining cookie crumbs and enough pudding to make the mixture moist but not soggy. Place liner in litter box and pour in mixture.
Unwrap 3 Tootsie Rolls and heat in a microwave until soft and pliable. Shape the blunt ends into slightly curved points. Repeat with three more rolls. Bury the rolls decoratively in the cake mixture. Sprinkle remaining white cookie crumbs over the mixture, then scatter green crumbs lightly over top.
Heat 5 more Tootsie Rolls until almost melted. Scrape them on top of the cake and sprinkle with crumbs from the litter box. Heat the remaining Tootsie Roll until pliable and hang it over the edge of the box. Place box on a sheet of newspaper and serve with scooper.
1 box spice or German chocolate cake mix
1 box of white cake mix
1 package white sandwich cookies
1 large package vanilla instant pudding mix
A few drops green food coloring
12 small Tootsie Rolls or equivalent
SERVING "DISHES AND UTENSILS"
1 NEW cat-litter box
1 NEW cat-litter box liner
1 NEW pooper scooper
Prepare and bake cake mixes, according to directions, in any size pan. Prepare pudding and chill. Crumble cookies in small batches in blender or food processor. Add a few drops of green food coloring to 1 cup of cookie crumbs.
Mix with a fork or shake in a jar. Set aside. When cakes are at room temperature, crumble them into a large bowl. Toss with half of the remaining cookie crumbs and enough pudding to make the mixture moist but not soggy. Place liner in litter box and pour in mixture.
Unwrap 3 Tootsie Rolls and heat in a microwave until soft and pliable. Shape the blunt ends into slightly curved points. Repeat with three more rolls. Bury the rolls decoratively in the cake mixture. Sprinkle remaining white cookie crumbs over the mixture, then scatter green crumbs lightly over top.
Heat 5 more Tootsie Rolls until almost melted. Scrape them on top of the cake and sprinkle with crumbs from the litter box. Heat the remaining Tootsie Roll until pliable and hang it over the edge of the box. Place box on a sheet of newspaper and serve with scooper.
What is Your Life Rated?
I took this from Ruben. I had expected my life to be rated R but I guess I am not as bad as I thought I was. That's nice I suppose.
My life is rated NC-17.
What is your life rated?
My life is rated NC-17.
What is your life rated?
Here Kitty Kitty
A good friend sent this to me today and I wanted to share with you.
YOU HAVE GOT TO PET THIS CAT!!!!
Cool Black Cat with Green Eyes -- go to this site (link below) to see something awesome! I have no clue how they got this to work. There are somee great code writers out there! If you tease her with the mouse pointer on her chest or stomach, she will purr. I got her to meow also, by rubbing her forehead with the pointer. If you make a slow circle around her body, (counter-clockwise) not only will her head and eyes follow your pointer, but toward the top, her paw will go up! And when in front of her paws at the bottom, her foot comes out like she wants to play with your mouse pointer. (Don't hold the mouse down, just move it.) Enjoy!
Kitty Kat!
YOU HAVE GOT TO PET THIS CAT!!!!
Cool Black Cat with Green Eyes -- go to this site (link below) to see something awesome! I have no clue how they got this to work. There are somee great code writers out there! If you tease her with the mouse pointer on her chest or stomach, she will purr. I got her to meow also, by rubbing her forehead with the pointer. If you make a slow circle around her body, (counter-clockwise) not only will her head and eyes follow your pointer, but toward the top, her paw will go up! And when in front of her paws at the bottom, her foot comes out like she wants to play with your mouse pointer. (Don't hold the mouse down, just move it.) Enjoy!
Kitty Kat!
Closing Day
Well, finally the big day came and it is the closing of the loan. The Fed Ex guy came to deliver the documents that we need to sign. Now, to get a notary here and watch us do the signing.
I got a phone call last night from some company out in Texas asking me when is a good time for the person to come and notarize our documents etc. I told her that all this stuff has to be done by 5:00 our time. She said okay and would call back. Hum, here it is 11:47 my time and the girl never called me back. So, my loan Officer called me this morning to see if everything was set. Nope, I told him and told him about the phone call. You could hear it in his voice like "Can't anybody do their job?" He told me he will find out what the story is. I think he forgot there is a time difference here. So, it is about 9:00 in Texas.
I just want this over with. I got other things to do but wait around here. I don't even have a turkey for Thanksgiving and I will be dam if I am going to eat Dog Food! Well, I could be thankful that it is still food. Right? Every Thanksgiving we let our dogs have a meal too. Okay, I know I am nuts but hey, they are part of the family too and have lots to be thankful too. Like doggie bones, a good master, a nice home, etc.
I got a phone call last night from some company out in Texas asking me when is a good time for the person to come and notarize our documents etc. I told her that all this stuff has to be done by 5:00 our time. She said okay and would call back. Hum, here it is 11:47 my time and the girl never called me back. So, my loan Officer called me this morning to see if everything was set. Nope, I told him and told him about the phone call. You could hear it in his voice like "Can't anybody do their job?" He told me he will find out what the story is. I think he forgot there is a time difference here. So, it is about 9:00 in Texas.
I just want this over with. I got other things to do but wait around here. I don't even have a turkey for Thanksgiving and I will be dam if I am going to eat Dog Food! Well, I could be thankful that it is still food. Right? Every Thanksgiving we let our dogs have a meal too. Okay, I know I am nuts but hey, they are part of the family too and have lots to be thankful too. Like doggie bones, a good master, a nice home, etc.
11.21.2005
TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS ~ WOMAN'S VIEW
Men, take note: If it weren't for us woman there be no Christmas or any other special occasions.
T'was the night before Christmas and all through the kitchen;
I was cooking, baking,moaning and complaining.
I've been here for hours; I can't stop to rest.
This rooms a disaster, just look at this mess!
Tomorrow I've got thirty people to feed.
They expect all the trimmings. Who cares what I need!
My feet are both blistered; I've got cramps in my legs.
The cat just knocked over a bowl full of eggs.
There's a knock at the door and the telephones ringing
Frosting drips on the counter as the microwaves dinging.
Two pies in the oven, desserts almost done;
My cookbook is soiled with butter and crumbs.
I've had all I can stand, I can't take anymore;
Then in walks my husband, spilling rum on the floor.
He weaves and he wobbles, his balance unsteady;
Then grins as he chuckles "The eggnog is ready!"
He looks all around and with total regret,
Says "What's taking so long, aren't you through in here yet?"
As quick as a flash I snapped;
Yelling and screaming; so angry that words can't describe!
He flees from the room in fear of what might come out of my mouth next!
And screams "MY GOD WOMAN, YOU'RE GOING INSANE!!"
Now what was I doing, and what is that smell?
Oh darn, it's the pies!! They're all burned when I was busy giving him a good yell!
I hate to admit when I make a mistake,
But I put them on BROIL instead of on BAKE.
What else can go wrong? Is there still more ahead??
If this is good living, I'd rather do without.
Lord, don't get me wrong; I love holidays;
It just leaves me exhausted, all shaky and dazed.
But I promise you one thing, if I live till next year,
You won't find me pulling my hair out in here.
I'll hire a maid, a cook, and a waiter;
And if that doesn't work,
I'LL HAVE IT ALL CATERED!!!
T'was the night before Christmas and all through the kitchen;
I was cooking, baking,moaning and complaining.
I've been here for hours; I can't stop to rest.
This rooms a disaster, just look at this mess!
Tomorrow I've got thirty people to feed.
They expect all the trimmings. Who cares what I need!
My feet are both blistered; I've got cramps in my legs.
The cat just knocked over a bowl full of eggs.
There's a knock at the door and the telephones ringing
Frosting drips on the counter as the microwaves dinging.
Two pies in the oven, desserts almost done;
My cookbook is soiled with butter and crumbs.
I've had all I can stand, I can't take anymore;
Then in walks my husband, spilling rum on the floor.
He weaves and he wobbles, his balance unsteady;
Then grins as he chuckles "The eggnog is ready!"
He looks all around and with total regret,
Says "What's taking so long, aren't you through in here yet?"
As quick as a flash I snapped;
Yelling and screaming; so angry that words can't describe!
He flees from the room in fear of what might come out of my mouth next!
And screams "MY GOD WOMAN, YOU'RE GOING INSANE!!"
Now what was I doing, and what is that smell?
Oh darn, it's the pies!! They're all burned when I was busy giving him a good yell!
I hate to admit when I make a mistake,
But I put them on BROIL instead of on BAKE.
What else can go wrong? Is there still more ahead??
If this is good living, I'd rather do without.
Lord, don't get me wrong; I love holidays;
It just leaves me exhausted, all shaky and dazed.
But I promise you one thing, if I live till next year,
You won't find me pulling my hair out in here.
I'll hire a maid, a cook, and a waiter;
And if that doesn't work,
I'LL HAVE IT ALL CATERED!!!
11.20.2005
Christmas Game
Okay Kid's it is triva time and it is about Christmas. Let's see how much you know. Take out a piece of paper, then give your answers in the comment box.
1. Not Counting Rudolph, how many reindeer pull Santa's sleigh?
6
7
8
l0
12
2. What color is Santa's belt?
Red
White
Black
Gold
Santa doesn't wear a belt
3.What were Frosty the Snoman's last words?
I hate you, Mr. Sun
I 'm melting!!!
I'll be back someday
It's too darn hot!!!
What's happening?
4. What Christmas song contains the line: "Sing, choirs of angels, sing in exultation"?
Silent Night
O Come, All Ye Faithful
The First Noel
Joy to the World
Deck the Halls
5. What day of the year is usually the busiest shopping day?
The day after Thanksgiving
The last Sunday before Christmas
The day before Christmas
Christmas day
The day after Christmas
6. In "A Charlie Brown Christmas", who builds a gray snowman?
Charlie Brown
Lucy
Linus
Pigpen
Snoopy
7. How many "drummers drumming" did my true love give to me?
Eight
Nine
Ten
Eleven
Twelve
8. What did the Grinch use to pull his sleigh?
One sickly reindeer
His dog
Rats
Giant snails
Eight of the Whos from Whoville
9. What do they call their Christmas gift bringer in Chile?
Senor Santo
El Claus
Old Man Christmas (but in their native language)
They don't have Christmas in Chile
10. In "A Christmas Carol", what song does the caroler sing outside Scrooge's office?
God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen
Silent Night
O Come All Ye Faithful
The First Noel
Joy to the World
11. What state has a city named "Santa Claus"?
Alaska
Colorado
Indiana
Lousiana
Maine
Bunch of Crap
Do you believe it. Thanksgiving is almost here. I still have a few things that I need to get for that day. All this preparation and you sit down and eat for what? Fifteen (15) lousy minutes and you are so stuffed you can't move other than to the nearest recliner or couch in which by the way isn't the greatest thing to do after eating. They say to move around. I have learned over the years not to stuff my face any more. I just don't like that full feeling that I can't move. Did you know, that a lot of people end up in the emergency room on Thanksgiving. Some feel like they are having a heart attack after stuffing their faces and others actually have heart attacks. After reading that I am just going to eat like a pig. Oh, you do know that pigs actually do not eat that much. So, if someone ever calls you a pig...Thank them. LOL! Now, I use to say I eat like a bird because it seems they eat so little. Wrong, take a look at them sometime. They are always eating. And, they eat more than a pig. So, stop being a bird okay! I know I haven't been blogging much. Either I am not feeling well, having an anxiety attack or I am just plainly tired all the time. What gives? Plus I am so bored out of my mind lately. And, yes, boredom can tire you out. I needed that fresh air today. Had to run to the store for just a few things. I had the windows wide open and letting the cold, fresh air, blow through me. It was refreshing.
So, I get home and steam is pouring out of my husbands ears. I tell you, there isn't a dull moment in this house. So, I put the bags down to listen to my husband have this cow about our son-in-law. We have 4 dogs and 3 being Pitt Bulls. The rule in the house is that they can't run around the yard if there are people out side. Simple rule. You just never know and I am not going to loose my house because of my son-in-laws stupidity. He is really good with the dogs but this isn't the point here. My daughter is hanging out the window telling her husband that there are people out side and get them in. He brings them in and starts going off on my husband for being so up tight about the dogs and told him he was being immature. That really pissed my husband the hell off. And, so the two get into this fight and he plainly told him to get the hell out of the house. Then, our daughter yells at her father because she is afraid he will leave her. I am thinking here as he is telling me this. Hello, don't you want to leave the asshole anyway because he has no respect for you or this family and he dam cheats on you and doesn't come home half of the time and you are worried about him leaving you when you should have left him in the first place. What is wrong with this picture? She never defends us on rules in the house. She could have said to her husband that as long as we lived here that they should follow the rules regardless how old they were and it isn't his call to tell us what the hell we should be doing in our own house. Who the hell does he think he is?
I am telling you, since I was old enough to learn some simple rules like HAVE RESPECT FOR YOUR PARENTS AND ELDERS you darn well do it. I don't care that I am nearly 50 years old I am still my mother's child and still follow that rule. I do not talk back to my mother even though there have been a million and one times that I wanted to send her to the MOON! The thing is, it is called RESPECT! These dam kids do not!
Okay, I think I said a mouthful here.
11.18.2005
Blah
As I said before that I haven't feeling to well. Yesterday takes the cake. We all know a woman's job keeps going no matter what. Even when she isn't feeling well. Who else is going to to the work. Well, I had done some cleaning yesterday. I didn't do much just cleaned the bathroom. I have white tiles and it gets rather dirty easily. I use those Magic Erasers and they sure clean everything. Well, I ran out of them and use a normal sponge with some cleaner. After I had finished I was having such a Anxiety attack that I was in tears. I begged my son not to go out until I felt better. If anyone has them you know what I am feeling. Finally, after about an hour and half it goes away and it has left me totally exhausted.
My son had brought up something to me about my anxiety attacks. He said every time you clean you get one. Now, I am thinking why is that? He is somewhat right. I am wondering if when I use a cleaning chemical it triggers an attack for some unknown reason. When I clean I usually do not use cleaning products and just use a sponge and wipe down everything because of allergy purpose. The sponge collects the dust and also I don't have to inhale any cleaning chemicals around the house. I did use a floor cleaner and I have actually changed the cleaner. Well, it is basically the same stuff but has a lemon sent to it.
I still felt a little edgy today. I am wondering if the Wellbutrin dosage of 150 mg isn't working any longer and I need to up the dosage? Well, I will finish what I have and ask the Doctor. Ugh, I hate this getting older crap. If it isn't one thing, it's another thing and it goes on and on. Like fixing one thing while something else breaks down.
LET'S STOP THE INSANITY PLEASE!
My son had brought up something to me about my anxiety attacks. He said every time you clean you get one. Now, I am thinking why is that? He is somewhat right. I am wondering if when I use a cleaning chemical it triggers an attack for some unknown reason. When I clean I usually do not use cleaning products and just use a sponge and wipe down everything because of allergy purpose. The sponge collects the dust and also I don't have to inhale any cleaning chemicals around the house. I did use a floor cleaner and I have actually changed the cleaner. Well, it is basically the same stuff but has a lemon sent to it.
I still felt a little edgy today. I am wondering if the Wellbutrin dosage of 150 mg isn't working any longer and I need to up the dosage? Well, I will finish what I have and ask the Doctor. Ugh, I hate this getting older crap. If it isn't one thing, it's another thing and it goes on and on. Like fixing one thing while something else breaks down.
LET'S STOP THE INSANITY PLEASE!
11.17.2005
Turkey Place Cards
Need some Turkey Place Cards for your table?
Two different kinds here. Print out on cardstock.
Pay It Forward...
He almost didn't see the old lady, stranded on the side of the road, but even in the dim light of day, he could see she needed help. So he pulled up in front of her Mercedes and got out. His Pontiac was still sputtering when he approached her.
Even with the smile on his face, she was worried. No one had stopped to help for the last hour or so .. was he going to hurt her? He didn't look safe; he looked poor and hungry.
He could see that she was frightened, standing out there in the cold. He knew how she felt. It was that chill which only fear can put in you. He said, "I'm here to help you, ma'am. Why don't you wait in the car where it's warm? By the way, my name is Bryan Anderson."
Well, all she had was a flat tire, but for an old lady, that was bad enough. Bryan crawled under the car looking for a place to put the jack, skinning his knuckles a time or two. Soon he was able to change the tire. But he had to get dirty and his hands hurt.
As he was tightening up the lug nuts, she rolled down the window and began to talk to him. She told him that she was from St. Louis and was only just passing through. She couldn't thank him enough for coming to her aid. Bryan just smiled as he closed her trunk. The lady asked how much she owed him. Any amount would have been all right with her. She already imagined all the awful things that could have happened had he not stopped. Bryan never thought twice about being paid.
This was not a job to him. This was helping someone in need, and God knows there were plenty who had given him a hand in the past. He had lived his whole life that way, and it never occurred to him to act any other way. He told her that if she really wanted to pay him back, the next time she saw someone who needed help, she could give that person the assistance they needed, and Bryan added, "And think of me."
He waited until she started her car and droveoff. It had been a cold and depressing day, but he felt good as he headed for home, disappearing into the twilight.
A few miles down the road the lady saw a small cafe. She went in to grab a bite to eat, and take the chill off before she made the last leg of her trip home. It was a dingy looking restaurant. Outside were two old gas pumps. The whole scene was unfamiliar to her. The waitress came over and brought a clean towel to wipe her wet hair. She had a sweet smile, one that even being on her feet for the whole day couldn't erase. The lady noticed the waitress was nearly eight months pregnant, but she never let the strain and aches change her attitude. The old lady wondered how someone who had so little could be so giving to a stranger. Then she remembered Bryan.
After the lady finished her meal, she paid with a hundred dollar bill. The waitress quickly went to get change for her hundred dollar bill, but the old lady had slipped right out the door. She was gone by the time the waitress came back. The waitress wondered where the lady could be. Then she noticed something written on the napkin. There were tears in her eyes when she read what the lady wrote: "You don't owe me anything. I have been there too. Somebody once helped me out, the way I'm helping you. If you really want to pay me back, here is what you do: Do not let this chain of love end with you." Under the napkin were four more $100 bills.
Well, there were tables to clear, sugar bowls to fill, and people to serve, but the waitress made it through another day. That night when she got home from work and climbed into bed, she was thinking about the money and what the lady had written. How could the lady have known how much she and her husband needed it? With the baby due next month, it was going to be hard..
She knew how worried her husband was, and as he lay sleeping next to her, she gave him a soft kiss and whispered soft and low, "Everything's gonna be all right. I love you, Bryan Anderson."
There is an old saying "What goes around, comes around." And it does.. Today, I sent you this story, and I'm asking you to pass it on .. Let this light shine.
Good friends and family are like stars....You don't always see them, but know they are always there.
Even with the smile on his face, she was worried. No one had stopped to help for the last hour or so .. was he going to hurt her? He didn't look safe; he looked poor and hungry.
He could see that she was frightened, standing out there in the cold. He knew how she felt. It was that chill which only fear can put in you. He said, "I'm here to help you, ma'am. Why don't you wait in the car where it's warm? By the way, my name is Bryan Anderson."
Well, all she had was a flat tire, but for an old lady, that was bad enough. Bryan crawled under the car looking for a place to put the jack, skinning his knuckles a time or two. Soon he was able to change the tire. But he had to get dirty and his hands hurt.
As he was tightening up the lug nuts, she rolled down the window and began to talk to him. She told him that she was from St. Louis and was only just passing through. She couldn't thank him enough for coming to her aid. Bryan just smiled as he closed her trunk. The lady asked how much she owed him. Any amount would have been all right with her. She already imagined all the awful things that could have happened had he not stopped. Bryan never thought twice about being paid.
This was not a job to him. This was helping someone in need, and God knows there were plenty who had given him a hand in the past. He had lived his whole life that way, and it never occurred to him to act any other way. He told her that if she really wanted to pay him back, the next time she saw someone who needed help, she could give that person the assistance they needed, and Bryan added, "And think of me."
He waited until she started her car and droveoff. It had been a cold and depressing day, but he felt good as he headed for home, disappearing into the twilight.
A few miles down the road the lady saw a small cafe. She went in to grab a bite to eat, and take the chill off before she made the last leg of her trip home. It was a dingy looking restaurant. Outside were two old gas pumps. The whole scene was unfamiliar to her. The waitress came over and brought a clean towel to wipe her wet hair. She had a sweet smile, one that even being on her feet for the whole day couldn't erase. The lady noticed the waitress was nearly eight months pregnant, but she never let the strain and aches change her attitude. The old lady wondered how someone who had so little could be so giving to a stranger. Then she remembered Bryan.
After the lady finished her meal, she paid with a hundred dollar bill. The waitress quickly went to get change for her hundred dollar bill, but the old lady had slipped right out the door. She was gone by the time the waitress came back. The waitress wondered where the lady could be. Then she noticed something written on the napkin. There were tears in her eyes when she read what the lady wrote: "You don't owe me anything. I have been there too. Somebody once helped me out, the way I'm helping you. If you really want to pay me back, here is what you do: Do not let this chain of love end with you." Under the napkin were four more $100 bills.
Well, there were tables to clear, sugar bowls to fill, and people to serve, but the waitress made it through another day. That night when she got home from work and climbed into bed, she was thinking about the money and what the lady had written. How could the lady have known how much she and her husband needed it? With the baby due next month, it was going to be hard..
She knew how worried her husband was, and as he lay sleeping next to her, she gave him a soft kiss and whispered soft and low, "Everything's gonna be all right. I love you, Bryan Anderson."
There is an old saying "What goes around, comes around." And it does.. Today, I sent you this story, and I'm asking you to pass it on .. Let this light shine.
Good friends and family are like stars....You don't always see them, but know they are always there.
11.16.2005
Fun Stuff
I haven't been feeling to well since Sunday and really haven't had anything to say. Mostly because I am cranky and tired. I didn't want to forget my readers and wanted to keep you entertained. So, I came up with some fun stuff and probably obnoxious stuff to amuse you in case your bored.
FindThoughts.com - This Google-like search engine uses new technology that allows you to search peoples' minds for factual information.
CrazyIllusion.com - An amazing optical illusion. See it for yourself.
GetAnnoyed.com - A list of thousands of ways to annoy people.
SillyMessages.com - Hundreds of funny answering machine messages for you to use. Dumb.com - Dumb jokes, stupid dates, dumb videos, crazy stories, silly pranks, and other dumb stuff.
Stupid Videos - Hundreds of videos of people doing stupid stuff: pranks, accidents, funny animals, crazy stunts, etc. Like America's Funniest Home Videos but much better.
MonitorCamera.com - Take your photo online for free. Because of a new breakthrough in web technology, you can now take a picture of yourself using your computer monitor. No special equipment needed.
The Darwin Awards - True stories of stupid things people do that got them killed.
Guinness Book Of World Records - Watch videos of people doing amazing things, read about record holders, or try to break a record yourself.
Createfarts.com - Create farts online.
FindThoughts.com - This Google-like search engine uses new technology that allows you to search peoples' minds for factual information.
CrazyIllusion.com - An amazing optical illusion. See it for yourself.
GetAnnoyed.com - A list of thousands of ways to annoy people.
SillyMessages.com - Hundreds of funny answering machine messages for you to use. Dumb.com - Dumb jokes, stupid dates, dumb videos, crazy stories, silly pranks, and other dumb stuff.
Stupid Videos - Hundreds of videos of people doing stupid stuff: pranks, accidents, funny animals, crazy stunts, etc. Like America's Funniest Home Videos but much better.
MonitorCamera.com - Take your photo online for free. Because of a new breakthrough in web technology, you can now take a picture of yourself using your computer monitor. No special equipment needed.
The Darwin Awards - True stories of stupid things people do that got them killed.
Guinness Book Of World Records - Watch videos of people doing amazing things, read about record holders, or try to break a record yourself.
Createfarts.com - Create farts online.
11.15.2005
How To Cook A Turkey
Okay kids we know that Thanksgiving is next week. How many of you are cooking a turkey at your house this year? In case you have no idea what you are doing this link will help you prepare and cook turkey, and for those of you that would like to learn even though your not cooking a turkey this will help you.
Game Time
Hello Boys and Girls. How would you like to play Smack the Penguin? It is suppose to help you relieve some stress. I am not sure about that, as it surely can piss you off! Go ahead, give it a try. You have to click on that Giant B. Snowman with the bat in his hand.
Blonde Jokes
WHICH IS FARTHER
Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking........and one blonde says to the other: "Which do you think is farther away..........Florida or the moon?
The other blonde turns and says "Helloooooooooo, can you see Florida.......?????
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
CAR TROUBLE
A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it died. After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly. She says, "What's the story?"
He replies, "Just crap in the carburetor" She asks, "How often do I have to do that?"
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
SPEEDING TICKET
A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license. She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!"
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
KNITTING
A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting! Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled , "PULL OVER!" "NO!" the blonde yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF!"
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
BLONDE ON THE SUN
A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day. The Russian said, "We were the first in space!" The American said, "We were the first on the moon!" The Blonde said, "So what? We're going to be the first on the sun!" The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads. "You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!" said the Russian. To which the Blonde replied, "We're not stupid, you know. We're going at night!"
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
LAST ONE
A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex. Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?" "Hellllllllooo," answered the blonde. "They're watch dogs!"
Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking........and one blonde says to the other: "Which do you think is farther away..........Florida or the moon?
The other blonde turns and says "Helloooooooooo, can you see Florida.......?????
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
CAR TROUBLE
A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it died. After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly. She says, "What's the story?"
He replies, "Just crap in the carburetor" She asks, "How often do I have to do that?"
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
SPEEDING TICKET
A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license. She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!"
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
KNITTING
A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting! Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled , "PULL OVER!" "NO!" the blonde yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF!"
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
BLONDE ON THE SUN
A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day. The Russian said, "We were the first in space!" The American said, "We were the first on the moon!" The Blonde said, "So what? We're going to be the first on the sun!" The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads. "You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!" said the Russian. To which the Blonde replied, "We're not stupid, you know. We're going at night!"
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
LAST ONE
A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex. Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?" "Hellllllllooo," answered the blonde. "They're watch dogs!"
11.14.2005
Symptoms of the BIRD FLU...
The Center for Disease Control has released a list of symptoms of bird flu. If you experience any of the following, please seek medical treatment immediately:
1. High fever
2. Congestion
3. Nausea
4. Fatigue
5. Aching in the joints
6. An irresistible urge to shit on someone's windshield
1. High fever
2. Congestion
3. Nausea
4. Fatigue
5. Aching in the joints
6. An irresistible urge to shit on someone's windshield
Jobs
My brother, who owns Hire Knowledge- Putting Intelligence to Work is his slogan. He has locations all over the US. If you use his services tell him or the staff that the owner's sister sent you.
He sent me this new website for job searching. I thought you all would be interested in the "Google of job search tools". Indeed
Indeed has begun to greatly improve the speed and accuracy of my job search. It searches all the major job boards as well as thousands of other companies job sites directly. A big time saver! A great tool and an obvious job board killer. This is going to hurt Monster. Enjoy it, and bookmark it for future use.
He sent me this new website for job searching. I thought you all would be interested in the "Google of job search tools". Indeed
Indeed has begun to greatly improve the speed and accuracy of my job search. It searches all the major job boards as well as thousands of other companies job sites directly. A big time saver! A great tool and an obvious job board killer. This is going to hurt Monster. Enjoy it, and bookmark it for future use.
How Much of an Asshole/Bitch Are You?
I am 36% Asshole/Bitch.
I may think I am an asshole or a bitch, but the truth is I am a good person at heart. Yeah sure, I can have a mean streak in me, but most of the people I meet like me.Are You Addict To The Internet?
I am 42% Internet Addict.
I could go either way. Deep into the madness of nights filled with coding CGI-Scripts and online role playing games, or I could become a normal user. Good luck!11.13.2005
The Weekend
My husband and I had gone to his home town this morning. It is only 40-45 minutes away depending upon the traffic. We went to a friends house and use to live across the street from them. Plenty of good times with big parties and use both houses. It seems like yesterday but seeing his kids grown up in which they are around my son and daughter's age. They have been redoing the house for the last couple of years and I haven't seen it since they were just starting. The house is big and old he said the footage is 2,600. He inherited from his father in which a lady that died left the house to his father and they were just friends. Make me wonder just how much of a friend he was to her to get a house for nothing.
I haven't gone down there since last Christmas. I am so glad that I have moved away from there. We lived right off of Route 1 and in which runs all the way into NY and right off of Route 95 that runs from Canada to Florida. The town has expanded in the 10 years that we have left and it is so darn crowded with so many stores. When I am there I feel like sardines in a can, and there is so much traffic no wonder I became such a road rage person when I lived there. My gosh, my language was just awful on the road and everyone is so busy flipping the finger at each other. I knew then I needed to get the heck out of that town. Also, when the Principal from the school calls you up and says your daughter was in a fist fight with some other girl you know it is time to bug out.
When we moved to this town and because my daughter was basically street smart and here is like the country she knew how to take care of her self. The kids were afraid of her. I know I can laugh about it now since she is all grown up now but any kid that moved from that town up to here were street smart and the kids were just plainly afraid of them. The one thing that really up set my daughter when we visiting the school she said there were no black people here. Well, she only saw like 4-5. See, we lived in a town with a variety of different culture as it is good for the kids to be exposed to that. I liked the town because it was quiet and you got more for your money with a bigger house and some land. We did try to find something down there but I just couldn't find a house I liked. So, we moved here.
So, on our way home we stopped at Walmart for a few things then home and then I had to go back out for the other groceries.
I haven't gone down there since last Christmas. I am so glad that I have moved away from there. We lived right off of Route 1 and in which runs all the way into NY and right off of Route 95 that runs from Canada to Florida. The town has expanded in the 10 years that we have left and it is so darn crowded with so many stores. When I am there I feel like sardines in a can, and there is so much traffic no wonder I became such a road rage person when I lived there. My gosh, my language was just awful on the road and everyone is so busy flipping the finger at each other. I knew then I needed to get the heck out of that town. Also, when the Principal from the school calls you up and says your daughter was in a fist fight with some other girl you know it is time to bug out.
When we moved to this town and because my daughter was basically street smart and here is like the country she knew how to take care of her self. The kids were afraid of her. I know I can laugh about it now since she is all grown up now but any kid that moved from that town up to here were street smart and the kids were just plainly afraid of them. The one thing that really up set my daughter when we visiting the school she said there were no black people here. Well, she only saw like 4-5. See, we lived in a town with a variety of different culture as it is good for the kids to be exposed to that. I liked the town because it was quiet and you got more for your money with a bigger house and some land. We did try to find something down there but I just couldn't find a house I liked. So, we moved here.
So, on our way home we stopped at Walmart for a few things then home and then I had to go back out for the other groceries.
George Bush
George Bush has a heart attack and dies. He goes to hell where the devil is waiting for him. "I don't know what to do here," says the devil. "You're on my list but I have no room for you, but you definitely have to stay here, so I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I've got 3 people here who weren't quite as bad as you. I'll let one of them go, but you have to take their place. I'll even let you decide who leaves."
George thought that sounded pretty good, so he agreed. The devil opened the first room. In it was Richard Nixon and a large pool of water. He kept diving in and surfacing empty handed over and over and over. Such was his fate in hell; "No!" George said; "I don't think so. I'm not a good swimmer and don't think I could do that all day."
The devil led him to the next room. In it was Tony Blair with a sledgehammer and a room full of rocks. All he did was swing that hammer, time after time after time. "No! I've got this problem with my shoulder. I wou ld be in constant agony if all I could do was break rocks all day," commented George.
The devil opened a third door. In it, George saw Bill Clinton lying naked on the floor with his arms staked over his head and his legs staked in spread eagle pose. Bent over him was Monica Lewinsky, doing what she does best. George Bush looked at this in disbelief for a while and finally said, "Yeah, I can handle this."
The devil smiled and said; "Monica, you're free to go."
George thought that sounded pretty good, so he agreed. The devil opened the first room. In it was Richard Nixon and a large pool of water. He kept diving in and surfacing empty handed over and over and over. Such was his fate in hell; "No!" George said; "I don't think so. I'm not a good swimmer and don't think I could do that all day."
The devil led him to the next room. In it was Tony Blair with a sledgehammer and a room full of rocks. All he did was swing that hammer, time after time after time. "No! I've got this problem with my shoulder. I wou ld be in constant agony if all I could do was break rocks all day," commented George.
The devil opened a third door. In it, George saw Bill Clinton lying naked on the floor with his arms staked over his head and his legs staked in spread eagle pose. Bent over him was Monica Lewinsky, doing what she does best. George Bush looked at this in disbelief for a while and finally said, "Yeah, I can handle this."
The devil smiled and said; "Monica, you're free to go."
Yard Clean Up...
I have said that raking leaves is a waste of time since I live in a wooded area. It is almost rediculous to keep raking when the leaves will be in the yard the next day. That is my theory anyway. Well, what did I do today. No not rake, but used the leaf blower. You know, a little easier but still had to blow them leaves off the porch and since my husband had mowed the lawn in which will probably be the last time I thought I get out there and help the poor guy. I have to admit the yard looks better. I am so sad that most of the leaves are off the trees. I can see my neighbors. I guess this means we need to pull the curtains so you can't see in.
Oh, I did one amazing thing on Friday. We have had this old car sitting in the driveway that my husband had used for spare parts for his truck for about 5 years now. Looked really stupid sitting there with the darn hood up. I couldn't tell you how many times I told him to at least put that hood down to at least make it look presentable. Well, he gave me the okay to call the junk yard. They came with in 2 hours and took it away. The guy said to me that he traveled up and down this road plenty of times and said that car has been there like what? 5 years? Just about I told him. Ah, it looks so much better now. Now, to take the basketball hoop down. My son took the jungle gym down over the summer as that was left there by the previous owners and since my son used it a bit when we moved here.
Oh, I did one amazing thing on Friday. We have had this old car sitting in the driveway that my husband had used for spare parts for his truck for about 5 years now. Looked really stupid sitting there with the darn hood up. I couldn't tell you how many times I told him to at least put that hood down to at least make it look presentable. Well, he gave me the okay to call the junk yard. They came with in 2 hours and took it away. The guy said to me that he traveled up and down this road plenty of times and said that car has been there like what? 5 years? Just about I told him. Ah, it looks so much better now. Now, to take the basketball hoop down. My son took the jungle gym down over the summer as that was left there by the previous owners and since my son used it a bit when we moved here.
11.12.2005
In Memory of D.P.Osterhout Jr. 5/5/1926 - 11/12/1993
Twelve years ago today my father past away. I got the phone call just as I was walking in the door where I worked. The managers were told by my mother-in-law since my Mom didn't have my work number. They had instructed me to call my mother-in-law and she just kept telling me on the phone to go to her house in which was basically across the street from where I worked. I told her I had just got to work and have to give them a reason why and she just would not tell me. I begged her to tell me and she did. I dropped the phone and collapsed to the floor.
Since my father had passed away in November and was to be buried in Vermont we couldn't have the funeral at the time since my parents lived in Georgia. We had to wait until the ground was thawed out and buried him in July when our summer camps were opened. So, basically for 8 months we couldn't put him to rest.
We had a Quaker funeral. It is a normal service but for those that had something to say about my father could make a speech. I had written a poem for my father based on one of the days that I had spent with him just before he passed away. I almost could not read this in front of everyone and my cousin that was sitting right behind me whispered to me and said it was okay if I couldn't but I may regret it if I didn't. The room was packed and I stood up and read the below poem to everyone and basically collapsed after reading this.
My father ment the world to me. He was the one that understood me, he loved me unconditionally unlike my mother. He was a smart, caring, loving, fun man. He was the type of person if you could not afford to go to college he fund your college as he did to a few people. Education he would for ever be drilling into our heads. This man paid for his twin sister's college tuition as his parent were poor. He paid for his and went to Yale. He sent all 4 of us to college. He sent my sister-in-law to college as her parents couldn't afford it etc. He paid it in cash. It was just the type of person he was.
My parents could not have kids and they had adopted 4 kids. I am honored I was choosen by they, raised by them, and loved by him. If I can just have one more of his bear hugs he would give me.
I miss you Dad....
Pervading Memories
Sitting, rocking in our chair.
On that cool crisp summer morning.
Looking out towards the lake.
Maybe admiring the beauty
Or, lost in our thoughts.
Our endearment of being together
Father and Daughter
With no words to say
Occasionally looking at one another.
Exchanging smiles.
Leaving an everlasting impression.
This remembrance I hold.
“I Love You Daddy”
I didn't need say ...
He is gone ... His pervading spirit.
A fullness in my heart he has left.
Since my father had passed away in November and was to be buried in Vermont we couldn't have the funeral at the time since my parents lived in Georgia. We had to wait until the ground was thawed out and buried him in July when our summer camps were opened. So, basically for 8 months we couldn't put him to rest.
We had a Quaker funeral. It is a normal service but for those that had something to say about my father could make a speech. I had written a poem for my father based on one of the days that I had spent with him just before he passed away. I almost could not read this in front of everyone and my cousin that was sitting right behind me whispered to me and said it was okay if I couldn't but I may regret it if I didn't. The room was packed and I stood up and read the below poem to everyone and basically collapsed after reading this.
My father ment the world to me. He was the one that understood me, he loved me unconditionally unlike my mother. He was a smart, caring, loving, fun man. He was the type of person if you could not afford to go to college he fund your college as he did to a few people. Education he would for ever be drilling into our heads. This man paid for his twin sister's college tuition as his parent were poor. He paid for his and went to Yale. He sent all 4 of us to college. He sent my sister-in-law to college as her parents couldn't afford it etc. He paid it in cash. It was just the type of person he was.
My parents could not have kids and they had adopted 4 kids. I am honored I was choosen by they, raised by them, and loved by him. If I can just have one more of his bear hugs he would give me.
I miss you Dad....
Pervading Memories
Sitting, rocking in our chair.
On that cool crisp summer morning.
Looking out towards the lake.
Maybe admiring the beauty
Or, lost in our thoughts.
Our endearment of being together
Father and Daughter
With no words to say
Occasionally looking at one another.
Exchanging smiles.
Leaving an everlasting impression.
This remembrance I hold.
“I Love You Daddy”
I didn't need say ...
He is gone ... His pervading spirit.
A fullness in my heart he has left.
11.11.2005
So, You Have Gas....
I am sure many of you have started to blog about something only to realize you really have nothing to say. I get that way sometimes so I would just start reading other blogs and then someone's blog triggers a thought or a memory and this usually will get you going.
So, here I am reading Dream Gurl blog about her husband calling and telling that she farted as she rolled over in bed. Okay, so talking about farting is not on the top of the list of things to write about and yet people will still laugh about it or they would be ashamed to write about their farting stories. Maybe I can inspire you to tell yours who knows.
Anyhoo, when I first got married some 25 years ago and I am sure a lot of you husband have done this to your wife. Don't sit there and say you haven't or I am going to ask your wife. How many men have pulled the sheets over their wife's head and farted? I can see you nodding your heads saying yup many times. Well, my husband did that to me as well. Now, most men think it is okay if men fart and not woman. Hello, if I got some gas coming out of my ass and I need to fart then I will. I know you think it isn't lady like. What the hell do you want us woman to do? Try to squeeze our ass so tight and glide across the room really fast to the nearest bathroom and hope no one is in there so we can fart! Hum, lets see, a little noise, coughing, drag a can across the room, push the grocery cart in hopes it loud so you can smother the sound of the fart is what I would do. I am sure you woman have done things to disguise the farting sound. And, yes, it is terrible to do it in public I will agree with that. In your own home is another thing as I am not going to rush to the bathroom to fart.
So, where am I going with all this? I had enough of my husband smothering me under the covers and farting and I needed to get him back one day. The day came when I saw my husband sleeping on the couch and I bend down so my ass was in his face and tapped his shoulder and he woke up and I ripped him one right in his face. He flew off that couch so fast and stood there yelling WTF at me. I was laughing, said something like I got you back for all the times you smothered me with your farts. He never covered my head again.
Hey, pay back is a BITCH!
So, here I am reading Dream Gurl blog about her husband calling and telling that she farted as she rolled over in bed. Okay, so talking about farting is not on the top of the list of things to write about and yet people will still laugh about it or they would be ashamed to write about their farting stories. Maybe I can inspire you to tell yours who knows.
Anyhoo, when I first got married some 25 years ago and I am sure a lot of you husband have done this to your wife. Don't sit there and say you haven't or I am going to ask your wife. How many men have pulled the sheets over their wife's head and farted? I can see you nodding your heads saying yup many times. Well, my husband did that to me as well. Now, most men think it is okay if men fart and not woman. Hello, if I got some gas coming out of my ass and I need to fart then I will. I know you think it isn't lady like. What the hell do you want us woman to do? Try to squeeze our ass so tight and glide across the room really fast to the nearest bathroom and hope no one is in there so we can fart! Hum, lets see, a little noise, coughing, drag a can across the room, push the grocery cart in hopes it loud so you can smother the sound of the fart is what I would do. I am sure you woman have done things to disguise the farting sound. And, yes, it is terrible to do it in public I will agree with that. In your own home is another thing as I am not going to rush to the bathroom to fart.
So, where am I going with all this? I had enough of my husband smothering me under the covers and farting and I needed to get him back one day. The day came when I saw my husband sleeping on the couch and I bend down so my ass was in his face and tapped his shoulder and he woke up and I ripped him one right in his face. He flew off that couch so fast and stood there yelling WTF at me. I was laughing, said something like I got you back for all the times you smothered me with your farts. He never covered my head again.
Hey, pay back is a BITCH!
Black Friday
While we are waiting for our Home Equity Loan my husband and I have been talking about the things that need to be done around the house, new furniture, paint the entire house and other miscellaneous things and a few things he like to have. Most of the money will get put away in which I like to invest in. I need to do some homework to find out the best place to invest the money. I don't want to tie it up for long should we need some for an emergency.
Anyway, I was just saying to my husband that in the 13 years of being in retail this will be the first year that I will have Black Friday off. Last year, I had worked for just the season at Toys R Us. This is the most insane store to be in. That weekend I was so exhausted and the customers were crazy. They trashed the place that when the store closed for the day we had to clean it all up for the next day trashing. You barely even get a chance to pee. I must have been nuts to even apply to that store. Told my self never again. Working at the craft store was much better on Black Friday weekend.
So, this year, I think I will haunt some stores. I know it is nuts to even shop that weekend.
Anyway, I was just saying to my husband that in the 13 years of being in retail this will be the first year that I will have Black Friday off. Last year, I had worked for just the season at Toys R Us. This is the most insane store to be in. That weekend I was so exhausted and the customers were crazy. They trashed the place that when the store closed for the day we had to clean it all up for the next day trashing. You barely even get a chance to pee. I must have been nuts to even apply to that store. Told my self never again. Working at the craft store was much better on Black Friday weekend.
So, this year, I think I will haunt some stores. I know it is nuts to even shop that weekend.
11.10.2005
The Adventures Of Skiing
This is rather long...sorry.
Now that you heard about my cross-country skiing day. My downhill skiing was even better. As I have said that I really do not like speed going down the hill because I just don't know how to stop properly. I was telling this to my younger brother during this same winter as my parents were driving us to Burke Ski area in Vermont near Stowe. My younger brother was calling me a chicken. I was indeed but I didn't want him to know that so he dared me to go skiing. I caved in.
So, we are getting fitted for our skies and Dad strongly suggest some lessons for me. Of course, after all just the other day I stabbed my self with the pole in the boob. I needed to learn how to stop myself. So skiing lesson I was having. Now, I was one of the oldest having lessons. I was the most clumsy one of them all. The most uncoordinated one. The instructor had to pay attention to me the most. All the other students were young kids with no fear. After having like an hour and half of some brief lessons it was now time to test ourselves and go on the "Bunny Slope" Just a little hill and a very open field that I couldn't possibly kill myself or anyone for that matter.
So here we all are on the Bunny Slope practicing for a while. By George, I am getting the hang of this. I can do this I tell my self. Now, the instructor wants to bring us up to another slope. I feel a little confidence that I can do it. We have to take a chair lift up. Huh? I am terrified of heights. Oh, no, I can't go on that and look down. Well, my brother decided to join me and guide me. Tells me to make sure that I keep my skies up when we are about to get to the top, lift the bar, and take off. Simple, any moron could do it. I must have been the stupidest moron on the planet that day. Forgot to lift the skies up and they get jammed into the snow and I fall flat on my face. I am sure I gave a few people some laughs. I do however remember people rushing over to me and helping me up.
Now, the trick to get back down to the bottom was going to be one challenge for me. I am skiing along and I see that I am doing fairly good and I am picking up speed, then I am coming around a corner and wham I slammed into a tree. I had blacked out and finally came too with all these people looking at me. I didn't know what happened and then it came to me that I had just kissed a tree. I just got up really fast and really embarrassed and skied on. I finally get to the bottom of the hill and there were my parents waiting and there was Mom with this horrible look on her face again. They rush over to me and I had no idea why they had the horrible look on their face. Well, when I had kissed that tree I had this huge lump on my forehead and blood was dripping down my face and I really didn't feel that blood. My brother had been way ahead of me and waited at the bottom of hill but never saw me come down and he went back up and found my hat and was freaking out because he thought that I had gotten hurt and raced back to the lodge and found us. I got all cleaned up and decided I wasn't going on that hill again and I would go on a smaller mountain.
The weird thing happened. I ran into a class mate of mine from High School there so we paired up and went skiing together and we forgot to get off the lift and went to another slope. We are standing at the top of the mountain. I knew right there and then that I was going to die because we see this sign saying "Expert Trail" Of all rotten luck. Someone helps her down the slope but leaves me at the top. I finally said Fuck It and started taking off my skies and would walk down the slope or die. I was on that slope for an hour and then my friend got a rescue team to go up and find me since she never saw me come down. How embarrassing again. Of course these two good looking guys have to come up and help me down the expert slope making me zig zag down. Of course I made it down alive since I am writing this aren't I.
Of course, I once again scared the pants off my parents. You know how many times they could have been rushed to the hospital because of me that day? Oh wait, I am not finished yet. We decided to have lunch and then my parents want to go cross-country skiing at a near by area. So, my brother, sister, and I had to stay at the ski area for a couple more hours. I decided that I should stick with the Bunny Slope. After all, it was an open field with no trees or really steep slope. The other two went their own way and I stayed with my friend.
We had been skiing on this slope for a while. I had no problem and then my clumsiness kicked in again. I was skiing down and took a nasty fall. I couldn't get up. My friend saw that I was in trouble and rushed over. I told her I think I popped my knee cap out but there was no way in hell was I going to a hospital since no one would know I was there. I told her my sister and brother were skiing and Mom and Dad went off some where else. I did the worst, I slammed my knee cap back to where it was supposed to be. That pain, was so unbearable and was the dumbest thing I ever did. I managed to get up with the help of my friend and got me back to the Lodge and sat in the chair and never got back up until my family came. I wasn't limping and just told them that I feel no big deal. Nope, never went to the Doctor over this until several years later and that Dr. knew what I did with out me having to tell him. Yup, I screwed up my knee for life. It doesn't sit in the socket like it is suppose too and I still to this day haven't had the surgery to fix it. Aren't I a dumb ass!
Just a note...I haven't gone skiing since 1975...and you wonder why?
Now that you heard about my cross-country skiing day. My downhill skiing was even better. As I have said that I really do not like speed going down the hill because I just don't know how to stop properly. I was telling this to my younger brother during this same winter as my parents were driving us to Burke Ski area in Vermont near Stowe. My younger brother was calling me a chicken. I was indeed but I didn't want him to know that so he dared me to go skiing. I caved in.
So, we are getting fitted for our skies and Dad strongly suggest some lessons for me. Of course, after all just the other day I stabbed my self with the pole in the boob. I needed to learn how to stop myself. So skiing lesson I was having. Now, I was one of the oldest having lessons. I was the most clumsy one of them all. The most uncoordinated one. The instructor had to pay attention to me the most. All the other students were young kids with no fear. After having like an hour and half of some brief lessons it was now time to test ourselves and go on the "Bunny Slope" Just a little hill and a very open field that I couldn't possibly kill myself or anyone for that matter.
So here we all are on the Bunny Slope practicing for a while. By George, I am getting the hang of this. I can do this I tell my self. Now, the instructor wants to bring us up to another slope. I feel a little confidence that I can do it. We have to take a chair lift up. Huh? I am terrified of heights. Oh, no, I can't go on that and look down. Well, my brother decided to join me and guide me. Tells me to make sure that I keep my skies up when we are about to get to the top, lift the bar, and take off. Simple, any moron could do it. I must have been the stupidest moron on the planet that day. Forgot to lift the skies up and they get jammed into the snow and I fall flat on my face. I am sure I gave a few people some laughs. I do however remember people rushing over to me and helping me up.
Now, the trick to get back down to the bottom was going to be one challenge for me. I am skiing along and I see that I am doing fairly good and I am picking up speed, then I am coming around a corner and wham I slammed into a tree. I had blacked out and finally came too with all these people looking at me. I didn't know what happened and then it came to me that I had just kissed a tree. I just got up really fast and really embarrassed and skied on. I finally get to the bottom of the hill and there were my parents waiting and there was Mom with this horrible look on her face again. They rush over to me and I had no idea why they had the horrible look on their face. Well, when I had kissed that tree I had this huge lump on my forehead and blood was dripping down my face and I really didn't feel that blood. My brother had been way ahead of me and waited at the bottom of hill but never saw me come down and he went back up and found my hat and was freaking out because he thought that I had gotten hurt and raced back to the lodge and found us. I got all cleaned up and decided I wasn't going on that hill again and I would go on a smaller mountain.
The weird thing happened. I ran into a class mate of mine from High School there so we paired up and went skiing together and we forgot to get off the lift and went to another slope. We are standing at the top of the mountain. I knew right there and then that I was going to die because we see this sign saying "Expert Trail" Of all rotten luck. Someone helps her down the slope but leaves me at the top. I finally said Fuck It and started taking off my skies and would walk down the slope or die. I was on that slope for an hour and then my friend got a rescue team to go up and find me since she never saw me come down. How embarrassing again. Of course these two good looking guys have to come up and help me down the expert slope making me zig zag down. Of course I made it down alive since I am writing this aren't I.
Of course, I once again scared the pants off my parents. You know how many times they could have been rushed to the hospital because of me that day? Oh wait, I am not finished yet. We decided to have lunch and then my parents want to go cross-country skiing at a near by area. So, my brother, sister, and I had to stay at the ski area for a couple more hours. I decided that I should stick with the Bunny Slope. After all, it was an open field with no trees or really steep slope. The other two went their own way and I stayed with my friend.
We had been skiing on this slope for a while. I had no problem and then my clumsiness kicked in again. I was skiing down and took a nasty fall. I couldn't get up. My friend saw that I was in trouble and rushed over. I told her I think I popped my knee cap out but there was no way in hell was I going to a hospital since no one would know I was there. I told her my sister and brother were skiing and Mom and Dad went off some where else. I did the worst, I slammed my knee cap back to where it was supposed to be. That pain, was so unbearable and was the dumbest thing I ever did. I managed to get up with the help of my friend and got me back to the Lodge and sat in the chair and never got back up until my family came. I wasn't limping and just told them that I feel no big deal. Nope, never went to the Doctor over this until several years later and that Dr. knew what I did with out me having to tell him. Yup, I screwed up my knee for life. It doesn't sit in the socket like it is suppose too and I still to this day haven't had the surgery to fix it. Aren't I a dumb ass!
Just a note...I haven't gone skiing since 1975...and you wonder why?
Bruises
I had skipped over to Na Uh! Ya Huh blog aka momyblogr and there she has this big bruise. I am not sure where that bruise is on her body and didn't ask. Looking at that picture reminded me of a big bruise like that I had on my body one time.
After Christmas for many years, my family would go to our winter house in Vermont and we go skiing. I could downhill ski but wasn't' good at it and often would go cross-country skiing with my parents. It is a lot of work cross-country. The thing I liked about it was the fact I could cross-country anywhere and not just on a ski slope.
So, my parents and I would cross- country around the town where our winter/summer homes were and we could cross-country across the lake. Back in 1975 my parents are roughly my age now (48) and we were going down this slope. They had gone first, and me, being the chicken because the slope was steep and here I am only (17) at the time was a big chicken to go down. Then, I thought, they made it down with no problem so can I. I proceeded to go down the hill and my speed is increasing fast and I am not very good at stopping. At this point I didn't like the rate of speed that I was going and wanted to slow down. I have no darn idea how this happened but some how or another I had crossed my skies and tumbled over and my poles are flying every which way and then I felt a sharp pain after I had tumbled down onto the snow. I wasn't sure what had happened and I hear my father shouting from the bottom of the hill "Are you alright?" luckily, my head was facing my parents and I can see my mother with this horrible look on her face. I knew I must have looked like hell. They had quickly taken off their skies and raced up the hill. I was completely tangled up and my father pulls the ski pole out that had jammed into my left side boob. Yes, you read this right and stop laughing. That dam hurt, and I had this huge bruise on my boob for weeks.
To let you know, that was the end of my cross-country days of skiing. I will tell you my downhill skiing accident another time. Yes, you will laugh at that one too.
After Christmas for many years, my family would go to our winter house in Vermont and we go skiing. I could downhill ski but wasn't' good at it and often would go cross-country skiing with my parents. It is a lot of work cross-country. The thing I liked about it was the fact I could cross-country anywhere and not just on a ski slope.
So, my parents and I would cross- country around the town where our winter/summer homes were and we could cross-country across the lake. Back in 1975 my parents are roughly my age now (48) and we were going down this slope. They had gone first, and me, being the chicken because the slope was steep and here I am only (17) at the time was a big chicken to go down. Then, I thought, they made it down with no problem so can I. I proceeded to go down the hill and my speed is increasing fast and I am not very good at stopping. At this point I didn't like the rate of speed that I was going and wanted to slow down. I have no darn idea how this happened but some how or another I had crossed my skies and tumbled over and my poles are flying every which way and then I felt a sharp pain after I had tumbled down onto the snow. I wasn't sure what had happened and I hear my father shouting from the bottom of the hill "Are you alright?" luckily, my head was facing my parents and I can see my mother with this horrible look on her face. I knew I must have looked like hell. They had quickly taken off their skies and raced up the hill. I was completely tangled up and my father pulls the ski pole out that had jammed into my left side boob. Yes, you read this right and stop laughing. That dam hurt, and I had this huge bruise on my boob for weeks.
To let you know, that was the end of my cross-country days of skiing. I will tell you my downhill skiing accident another time. Yes, you will laugh at that one too.
My Dog
When ever I leave the computer desk I have to make sure that I push the chair in otherwise one of the dogs will sit in the chair and look around the desk to pick something off the desk to chew on.I can't tell you how many times my Boon Koon. That's a picture of her has eaten my glasses. I have gotten to the point I buy those cheap glasses at the dollar store because she ate my prescribtion glasses. $250 glasses in that dogs mouth!
So, my daughter calls me ever day from work and I get up from the computer and forgot to push my chair in. This little shit gets up on the computer desk and she sees my sons Birth Certification of Birth and a business card on the desk and takes them and would have proceeded to chew them to bits. She must of heard me finish up on the phone and I then go back into the living room where the computer is and see her sitting there INNOCENTLY like WTF did I do? I had noticed that she is sitting on the Birth Certificate and business card trying to hide it.
She will be a year December 23rd. These dogs no matter how old they are they still like to chew things up. My Pitt Bulls like to shread things into thousands of little pieces. Yes, I have 3 Pitt Bulls. You can see the other dogs in that picture blog I have on the side bar.
Silhouett Portrait
I belong to alot of craft groups and find tons of ideas through these groups. People are always thinking of inexpensive gifts to make for Mom, Dad, Kids, Grandparent, and friends.
Long ago, when I was about 7 or 8 years old. My mother did a silhouette portrait of my brother and I. To this day, she still has those portraits sitting on her dresser. For those that have kids, this make a great gift for the Grandparents. You could even have someone do a silhouett of you to give as a gift. People appreciate gifts made over gifts bought because you put your heart and soul into that gift.
Silhouette Portrait
Materials:
• Desk lamp
• Table
• Tape
• Large sheet of black paper
What to do:
1. Place a desk lamp on a table about 6 feet from a blank wall.
2. Have your child stand against the wall so his profile casts a
shadow on the wall behind him.
3. Tape the paper to the wall, in the shadow, and trace your child's
silhouette.
4. Cut out silhouett, glue it to a white paper and place in frame. You could reverse and make a white silhouett on a black background.
Bubba Kitty Kat
My sister had emailed me telling me her kitty kat that she has had for 22 years died in her arms last night by the fireplace.
My sister found this cat when she was in college in PA and kept that cat hidden in her dorm all four years. From there she went back home to my parents in Virginia, then to California, then to Boston, back to California, then to Manhattan, NY, then to Vermont, and then to Colorado. Every where my sister went that cat was with her.
That cat has flown on a plane more than any animal has. My sister had this carrier that looked like a gym bag and she would Bubba (cat) in this bag. It had mesh on both ends so he could breath. She would lay diapers on the bottom should he have an accident. Before she put him in his carrier she tell him to keep quiet or they be walking to their destination. Bubba never even meowed on any of the trips. As soon as she get off the plane she find some grass and let Bubba do his thing.
He has traveled across the country by car from Colorado to Vermont every summer. I would call him the most traveled cat. She had an idea he would pass on soon as he became deaf, was skinny no matter how much she tried to put weight on him. He was just old, and tired.
Bubba is now in Kitty Heaven..
11.09.2005
Get your own sex name
I don't know why, but some of these silly quizzes are rather funny because we know most of them are made by the young kids. Yet, we find our selves doing them just for fun. I hope none of these offends anyone and if they do I am sorry.
Okay, now, I am sure there are some of you that may name their body parts. Well, I know men do but I haven't heard any woman naming their boobs or kitty. I say kitty because it is better especially saying it in public. If I knew you well enough and was standing in front of you having this conversation I would use the other word.
Anyhoo, so these are some of my names of varies things.
Just in case you men want to know what your penis name is. So, in order for me to generate this I used the name Jack. Sorry Jack. LOL! This is the results.
I am just using some guys name. I don't even know a Blake.
Okay, now, I am sure there are some of you that may name their body parts. Well, I know men do but I haven't heard any woman naming their boobs or kitty. I say kitty because it is better especially saying it in public. If I knew you well enough and was standing in front of you having this conversation I would use the other word.
Anyhoo, so these are some of my names of varies things.
| Your Boobies' Names Are: Silk and Satin |
| Your Porn Star Name is: Cumisha Jones |
| Your Girl Parts Are Named: The Flaming Lips |
| Your Stripper Name is: Delicious |
Just in case you men want to know what your penis name is. So, in order for me to generate this I used the name Jack. Sorry Jack. LOL! This is the results.
| Your Penis Name is: Big Lebowski |
I am just using some guys name. I don't even know a Blake.
| To pick up Blake: Hi will you help me find my lost puppy? I think he went into this cheap hotel room across the street. |
Appraiser
So, the apprasier came and went. I was telling him about my phone call to the Town Clerk. He had gone to the Assessor's Office and got what he needed. I had asked him when the house was built and he said in 1972 and then I asked the sqare footage. He tells me that the living area being up stairs is 1,262 + 5oo downstairs and finished. So, the total would be 1,762. I had a feeling that it was up there and thought when I was told 1,262 was too low. But this is how they tell you. Just your living space but when they figure the value of the house they add in the basement as they call it. He then asked what I thought my house value is. I said I am hoping at least $350,000 - $440,000. So, if I can get at least say $390,00 for it and minus out the Home Equity of $90,000 I still have $300,000. for this house. My total profit being of $117,000. I can live with that. All in all the value has doubled since I bought it for $183,000 with no mortgage.
We then started talking as I said I was from Norwalk as well as Wilton. So he asked my husband's name and said that it rings a bell. So, I named off some relatives and friends. Ah, yes he now knows who we are and our relatives. It such a small world isn't it.
He couldn't give me a value since he needed to add up some number and will give it to my loan officier. So, I shall have to wait.
We then started talking as I said I was from Norwalk as well as Wilton. So he asked my husband's name and said that it rings a bell. So, I named off some relatives and friends. Ah, yes he now knows who we are and our relatives. It such a small world isn't it.
He couldn't give me a value since he needed to add up some number and will give it to my loan officier. So, I shall have to wait.
Typing Test
How fast can you type? I took 4 years of typing in High School as well as 2 years in College. I use to be really fast. I guess as I get older my fingers don't work that fast any more. So, I have dropped from 70 wpm down to 55 wpm. Well, as of today. So, test your skill how well you type. I had always hated those tests. Talk about pressure!
Ole
Okay, I got this from Soonerfan as he is always sending me funny stuff. This is a pisser.
Ole was working at the fish plant up Nort in Dulut when he accidently cut off all ten of his fingers.
Ole went to the emergency room at the Clinic and when he got there the Norsky doctor looked at Ole and said, "Let's have da fingers and I'll see what I can do."
Ole said, "I haven't got da fingers."
"What do you mean, you haven't got da fingers?" the doctor asked. "Lord - it's 2005! We's got microsurgery and all kinds of incredible techniques. I coulda put dem back on and made you like new! "Why didn't you bring da fingers?" To which Ole says........
(Are you ready for this????)
How da f--k was I supposed to pick dem up?
Ole was working at the fish plant up Nort in Dulut when he accidently cut off all ten of his fingers.
Ole went to the emergency room at the Clinic and when he got there the Norsky doctor looked at Ole and said, "Let's have da fingers and I'll see what I can do."
Ole said, "I haven't got da fingers."
"What do you mean, you haven't got da fingers?" the doctor asked. "Lord - it's 2005! We's got microsurgery and all kinds of incredible techniques. I coulda put dem back on and made you like new! "Why didn't you bring da fingers?" To which Ole says........
(Are you ready for this????)
How da f--k was I supposed to pick dem up?
11.08.2005
Messages
That's right honey, I don't like Pabst Beer. But every now and then the Doctor makes me have one.
The Assessor's Can Just Kiss My.....
I have an appraiser coming tomorrow and he had asked me some questions about my property such as total sq. footage, age of house, and acreage. I couldn't remember any of this. So, I decided to call our Assessor to get this information. They wouldn't give me this information over the phone because someone had called them for this type of information and asked for the sq. footage, and they only gave the footage of the living area and not the basement area and she said they didn't ask for that. So, now they don't give out the information.
Now, to me the sq.footage is the entire house upstairs, downstairs, etc., but apparently the Assessor's have it broken down to sq. footage of living space and then the basement. Okay, I use to work in the Assessor's office and correct me if I am just plan dumb here. I would give the entire sq.footage of the house. Don't most people use the whole frickin house? Even if the basement isn't finished you still use it for storage, laundry room or what ever. You may not sleep there unless your in the dog house with your spouse. But you get my point here I need the entire footage of the house basement and all. It is still part of the house because when I sell it I am selling the whole frickin thing. They wouldn't even give me the acreage or when the house was built. Oh I have to come in to see this or mail a self-address-stamped envelope. I said to her "First, no car, appraiser coming tomorrow and lets not forget here that I pay this town a pretty penny of $5,000+ a year on taxes and you can't give me any of this information where all the other towns do. One last thing I said to her this is the most pathetic policy I have ever heard of" and hung up the phone.
I am not like this on the phone but when I hear something just so stupid it just pees me off. So in other words if some person living in Pluto, and needed all this like right now this is the line you will get. Talk about rotten customer service.
Now, to me the sq.footage is the entire house upstairs, downstairs, etc., but apparently the Assessor's have it broken down to sq. footage of living space and then the basement. Okay, I use to work in the Assessor's office and correct me if I am just plan dumb here. I would give the entire sq.footage of the house. Don't most people use the whole frickin house? Even if the basement isn't finished you still use it for storage, laundry room or what ever. You may not sleep there unless your in the dog house with your spouse. But you get my point here I need the entire footage of the house basement and all. It is still part of the house because when I sell it I am selling the whole frickin thing. They wouldn't even give me the acreage or when the house was built. Oh I have to come in to see this or mail a self-address-stamped envelope. I said to her "First, no car, appraiser coming tomorrow and lets not forget here that I pay this town a pretty penny of $5,000+ a year on taxes and you can't give me any of this information where all the other towns do. One last thing I said to her this is the most pathetic policy I have ever heard of" and hung up the phone.
I am not like this on the phone but when I hear something just so stupid it just pees me off. So in other words if some person living in Pluto, and needed all this like right now this is the line you will get. Talk about rotten customer service.
Jokes
RECENT STUDY FOUND OUT WHICH DAYS MEN PREFER TO HAVE SEX. IT WAS FOUND THAT MEN PREFERRED TO ENGAGE IN SEXUAL ACTIVITY ON THE DAYS THAT STARTED WITH THE LETTER "T."
EXAMPLES OF THOSE DAYS ARE AS FOLLOWS:
TUESDAY
THURSDAY
TODAY
TOMORROW
THANKSGIVING
THATURDAY
THUNDAY
***********************************
Another RECENT SURVEY WAS CONDUCTED ALSO TO DISCOVER WHY MEN GET OUT OF BED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT.. HERE ARE THE SURVEY RESULTS:
5% SAID IT WAS TO GET A GLASS OF WATER
12% SAID IT WAS TO GO TO THE BATHROOM
83% SAID IT WAS TO GO HOME
*********************************
THE PERFECT BREAKFAST...AS A MAN SEES IT......YOU'RE SITTING AT THE TABLE AND YOUR SON IS ON THE COVER OF WHEATIES......YOUR MISTRESS IS ON THE COVER OF PLAYBOY.........
AND YOUR WIFE IS ON THE BACK OF THE MILK CARTON.
**********************************
WHAT'S THE BEST FORM OF BIRTH CONTROL AFTER 50?
NUDITY
**********************************
WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A GIRLFRIEND AND A WIFE?
ABOUT 45 LBS.
**********************************
WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A BOYFRIEND AND A HUSBAND?
ABOUT 45 MINUTES
************************************
WHAT'S THE FASTEST WAY TO A MAN'S HEART?
THROUGH HIS CHEST WITH A REALLY SHARP KNIFE
*************************************
WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A SOUTHERN ZOO AND A NORTHERN ZOO?
A SOUTHERN ZOO HAS A DESCRIPTION OF THE ANIMAL ON THE FRONT OF THE CAGE, ALONG WITH A RECIPE.
*****************************************
WHAT'S THE CUBAN NATIONAL ANTHEM?
ROW, ROW, ROW YOUR BOAT..........
*****************************************
WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A NORTHERN FAIRYTALE AND A SOUTHERN FAIRYTALE?
A NORTHERN FAIRYTALE BEGINS "ONCE UPON A TIME....."
AND A SOUTHERN FAIRYTALE BEGINS...........
"Y'ALL AIN'T GONNA BELIEVE THIS SHIT
**************************************************
EXAMPLES OF THOSE DAYS ARE AS FOLLOWS:
TUESDAY
THURSDAY
TODAY
TOMORROW
THANKSGIVING
THATURDAY
THUNDAY
***********************************
Another RECENT SURVEY WAS CONDUCTED ALSO TO DISCOVER WHY MEN GET OUT OF BED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT.. HERE ARE THE SURVEY RESULTS:
5% SAID IT WAS TO GET A GLASS OF WATER
12% SAID IT WAS TO GO TO THE BATHROOM
83% SAID IT WAS TO GO HOME
*********************************
THE PERFECT BREAKFAST...AS A MAN SEES IT......YOU'RE SITTING AT THE TABLE AND YOUR SON IS ON THE COVER OF WHEATIES......YOUR MISTRESS IS ON THE COVER OF PLAYBOY.........
AND YOUR WIFE IS ON THE BACK OF THE MILK CARTON.
**********************************
WHAT'S THE BEST FORM OF BIRTH CONTROL AFTER 50?
NUDITY
**********************************
WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A GIRLFRIEND AND A WIFE?
ABOUT 45 LBS.
**********************************
WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A BOYFRIEND AND A HUSBAND?
ABOUT 45 MINUTES
************************************
WHAT'S THE FASTEST WAY TO A MAN'S HEART?
THROUGH HIS CHEST WITH A REALLY SHARP KNIFE
*************************************
WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A SOUTHERN ZOO AND A NORTHERN ZOO?
A SOUTHERN ZOO HAS A DESCRIPTION OF THE ANIMAL ON THE FRONT OF THE CAGE, ALONG WITH A RECIPE.
*****************************************
WHAT'S THE CUBAN NATIONAL ANTHEM?
ROW, ROW, ROW YOUR BOAT..........
*****************************************
WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A NORTHERN FAIRYTALE AND A SOUTHERN FAIRYTALE?
A NORTHERN FAIRYTALE BEGINS "ONCE UPON A TIME....."
AND A SOUTHERN FAIRYTALE BEGINS...........
"Y'ALL AIN'T GONNA BELIEVE THIS SHIT
**************************************************
Fly A Helicopter
Have you ever wanted to fly a Helicopter? Well, now is your chance. And, the best part is you can crash and not hurt any one. Come on, lets go flying.
11.07.2005
Eye Say We Have Some FUN!
Hey kids! You know how Mom says to be careful with your eyes? Well this fun you don't have to worry about hurting your eyes. You have the pleasure of playing with someone else's. Isn't that fun? Click here EYES!
About Blog Stalking...
I just wanted to clear up something that I had said in that blog about a blog stalker. For those that visit me on a daily base and sometimes more than once because I may have written something else I wasn't referring to any of you. I just didn't want you to think that I am getting crept out byany one here.
The other thing that someone had asked is how would you know that someone was stalking? And, like Sydney had commented about having a status counter on ones blog you can see where the IP address is coming from is how you know how many times a person visits your blog but that person doesn't even make comments. So, that is why I had said would this be a blog stalker? When someone visits your blog like 24 or more times a day you wonder what is up with this person? Not that you don't mind them visiting but it is weird that they don't even comment.
Anyhoo, I just wanted to clear this up.
The other thing that someone had asked is how would you know that someone was stalking? And, like Sydney had commented about having a status counter on ones blog you can see where the IP address is coming from is how you know how many times a person visits your blog but that person doesn't even make comments. So, that is why I had said would this be a blog stalker? When someone visits your blog like 24 or more times a day you wonder what is up with this person? Not that you don't mind them visiting but it is weird that they don't even comment.
Anyhoo, I just wanted to clear this up.
Blog stalker...
You know when someone doesn't like you they still keep coming to your blog several times on a daily base to check your blog out. I mean, if you don't like someone, why do you care what they do? Right? Why continuously check to see what they are doing or saying especially when they check on you at least 10 - 15 times a day or more.
Now, are they afraid that person is going to talk about them and reveal something about them that they don't want anyone to know about? Are they that insecure about who they are and feel guilty with some of the things that they have done?
Isn't this harassment? Especially when you have no idea why this person doesn't like you. Even if you know who your stalker is and you have done nothing to this person to cause this kind of behavior.
Do you have a blog stalker? What would you do if you had a blog stalker?
Now, are they afraid that person is going to talk about them and reveal something about them that they don't want anyone to know about? Are they that insecure about who they are and feel guilty with some of the things that they have done?
Isn't this harassment? Especially when you have no idea why this person doesn't like you. Even if you know who your stalker is and you have done nothing to this person to cause this kind of behavior.
Do you have a blog stalker? What would you do if you had a blog stalker?
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